Valentine's Day: The Japanese Way

Here in America, we see Valentine's Day as a "Hallmark holiday" with no roots or foundation and an excuse for couples to flaunt their happiness while single people mope/rant about couples flaunting their happiness. The color is red, whether to celebrate all things heart-shaped and sweet - or to rage against them. The candy of choice is chocolate (sometimes chocolate-covered cherries or other fruits) and also those chalky Necco-brand heart things that they SAY is candy - but a high sugar content alone does not a candy make. We have oodles of cards, possibly the most base foundation for the "Hallmark holiday" epithet, and from grade school onward they instill both a sense of caring and of sheer obligation.

In Japan, things are similar - but never the same.

Red is still the color of sweetness and anger at having no sweetness to call your own. Cards still exist, certainly. After all, Hallmark exists beyond language barriers. As for the candy - it's all about the chocolate. Just not in the way you'd expect. After all, here in America the commercialism leads us to "the most expensive chocolate is the best". But I have a question for all the lovers out there: When was the last time you MADE chocolates?

That's right - they make chocolates for the people they care about. And by "they" - I mean "women". While here in America, it pretty much falls on the male to take the time to make something special and set up plans for a romantic day/evening - in Japan, Valentine's Day is all about the females giving chocolate to the men in their lives. (Don't worry, all you feminists out there - there's a REASON other than subservience...) On top of this, the Japanese don't want to mix the notions of obligation and sincerity – God forbid that someone would ever get the wrong idea - so their chocolates come in two different categories:

"Giri-choco": Known as "obligation chocolate". Small, moderately-priced chocolates that are given to classmates, colleagues, co-workers - any man in your life who deserves recognition, but not your affection.

"Honmei-choco": Known as "specialty chocolate". More-elaborate chocolates if found in a store. Traditionally hand-made and cast in special molds; given to that "special someone" in your life, or someone you would want to become a "special someone".

(Another option in the honmei-choco line is a chocolate cake - anything that's chocolatey gets the job done, no matter what shape or form it comes in.)

So on the big Valentine's Day, women give these chocolates to the men in their lives they wish to recognize or appeal to. Men get to brag about how many chocolates they received, or the fantastic quality of the chocolates received, or the elaborate designs or anything else men can find to brag about chocolate-y goodness they've received.

To be a man without chocolate on Valentine's Day in Japan is the equivalent disgrace as being alone here in America. Or the fat kid at the end of the row in school, shaking his V-Day card box upside-down and having nothing come out.

Okay, so now that I've explained the rituals of Valentine's Day in Japan, I'm sure that feminists and most women in general are feeling gypped by it all. "Oh great, we have to do all the work to get something romantic on Valentine's?" Well, cheer up, ladies. Because unlike here in America where V-Day is a one-day event, in Japan there exists a counterpart holiday.

It's known as "White Day" and it takes place a month later on March 14th.

Okay, so what is this White Day and how does it relate to Valentine's Day?

Remember all those chocolates the women were giving to the men? Well, there's more reason to it than just being "nice". Every man who received chocolate has to remember who gave him what, because on White Day - he has to return the favor! The tradition started only a few decades ago, because the men felt so GUILTY about being showered with affection on Valentine's Day by the women, and they decided to make a new holiday to return the favor. Not only are men supposed to return the favor with a gift in return, but it should be of a HIGHER value than the gift that was given to them a month prior. Traditionally this is in the form of cookies or chocolates, but there's a reason why White Day sales are some of the biggest that take place in Japan. If you received handmade chocolates, your return gift has to be equally thoughtful - and probably NOT something you made yourself. Jewelry and women's clothing/accessories are usually the biggest sales on White Day.

So there you have it - a holiday not created from commercial Hallmark, but out of sheer guilt from receiving presents. Only in Japan, huh?

You want to hear something awful? While in Japan, the men felt guilty enough about being showered with gifts and chocolate on Valentine's that they made a new holiday just to return the favor out of obligation and fairness - here in America we did the opposite. Men, feeling they were entitled to something extra for all of the effort and thought that went into their Valentine's Day plans and gifts for their valentines, decided as well to make up a new holiday (though not a fully-recognized one yet, if ever). Rather than one of obligation to be fair and give something in return - it's one of obligation on the VALENTINE'S part to give something in return.

That's right - March 14th in America is "Steak and a Blowjob Day".

I'll leave you to ponder that holiday, while I count up all of my chocolates given to me today by the women who appreciate my being in their life.

Yup, still ZERO. (At least in Japan I could be happy about having no obligations for White Day...) Read more!

Traditional Tea Ceremony

HOW TO HOST A TRADITIONAL JAPANESE TEA CEREMONY

With the winter months now setting in, thoughts turn to warm beverages shared by good friends. Perhaps cocoa is your beverage of choice when the snow starts falling. Others may turn to coffee as the night creeps in earlier and earlier. But I'm guessing you're a tea person, aren't you? Well the best way (well maybe not the best, for for the sake of this article I'm saying it anyway) to enjoy some lovely tea in the company of good friends is to have an authentic Japanese Tea Ceremony. (Provided that the tea you had in mind all this time was green tea - I don't believe there's a traditional English Tea Ceremony for all of you Earl Grey fans out there, though I could be wrong.)

So, you think you're ready to host your own Japanese Tea Ceremony? Hopefully you've done a little bit of research and you're aware that it's not just a bunch of people getting together and pouring them all some name-brand canned "green tea" and playing your favorite J-Pop Mix CD and talking about which Inuyasha characters you all fantasize about while munching on some Pocky. The Japanese Tea Ceremony has a long and lavish history, requires dedication and poise, and a great deal of knowledge about the tools and the seasons themselves if you want it to be done correctly. The ceremony itself was started in the 9th century when a Buddhist monk first brought tea to Japan when he returned from China. The ritual of drinking the tea and meditating spread as a religious Buddhist ceremony, which was picked up by the samurai who used it as a ritual for meditation and focusing energies, and it eventually became a nationwide tradition in Japan due to its roots and principles: harmony, respect, purity and tranquility.

In fact, you may want to start with preparing your calligraphy wall scrolls that contain philosophical sayings or key words/phrases - appropriate for the current season, time of day or central theme you have for the ceremony. Oh, you don't have calligraphy wall scrolls? Better go out and get some, or possibly learn to make them - I know how, but that's a subject for another time. Also make sure you have your chabana, "tea flowers", arranged around the room - high vases with seasonal flowers only, no filler and simple, usually only housing one full blossom per arrangement. Oh, you're not well-versed in the language of flowers and their meanings or connections to the seasons? Again, that's a topic for another day - try asking a flower expert or make an educated guess, I suppose. If you're having a FULL ceremony, make sure to have your kaiseki ready - the MEAL you plan on serving before the tea makes its entrance, usually accompanied by sake, Japanese rice-wine (if you're of proper age to be purchasing/serving alcohol).

Now that you're prepared the room, it's time to make sure you've got everything you need for your proper ceremony itself. Complete your checklist!

Chakin, the rectangular white cloth used to clean out your tea bowl.
Fukusa, the square silk cloth used to clean the other equipment and handle hot things.
Hishaku, the ladel used to either transfer water while preparing the tea or used in the ritual purification performed by guests before entering the tea room.
Tana, the "shelves" or technically any furniture placed in front of the host on which to prepare the tea.
Chawan, the tea bowl, which is the most important part. Shallow bowls are used in summer to cool tea down quickly, and taller bowls are used in winter.
Natsume, the tea caddy that contains your usucha-style matcha - used to make thin tea, the common variety.
Chashaku, the bamboo/ivory tea scoop used to transfer the matcha to the water.
Chasen, the bamboo one-piece whisk traditionally used to prepare the tea.
(optional) Cha-ire, the tea caddy that contains koicha-style matcha - used to make thick tea, which is not done in every tea ceremony.

Got it all? Then it's time to invite over some kimono-wearing guests and get ready to have a calm, tranquil Japanese Tea Ceremony! Don't forget to remind them to pack their kaishi, special rice papers used to hold sweets and kept in the breast of the kimono, if you plan on serving sweets instead of (or after) the traditional meal. Got them assembled already? Then let's press on and get this ceremony started! After all, the usual traditional tea ceremoney takes between an hour to five hours, depending on the meal possibility and variety of teas being served.

Step 1: After waiting in the garden or sitting room, when you beckon your guests into the tea room/house, they should all perform the cleansing ritual. They wash their hands and rinse their mouths with water. Then they can remove their shoes and enter the room where the tea ceremony will take place.

Step 2: Have your guests admire your calligraphy wall scrolls and flower arrangements that you placed in the room. Then have them sit seiza-style (butt on heels, feet-tops flat on floor, hands in lap, back straight) arranged clockwise from the host/ess' position in order of prestige. After all, the best guest should get their tea before the less-honored guests, wouldn't you agree? Of course you would, it's tradition!

Step 3: This is the time when you can serve your food. Serve either your kaiseki (that meal I suggested you prepare in advance) or go straight to the sweets, which your guests can eat from the kaishi you reminded them to bring, right?

Step 4: The ceremony begins. You present each of your utensils (bowl, whisk, tea scoop, ladel) and ritually wash and clean them. This must be done in front of your guests, out of respect for them so they can be sure they are clean. Dry them with their respective cloths. You may then put the matcha tea powder into the tea bowl, add hot water, and whisk. If you have both usucha and koicha matcha, use the thick tea first. When the tea is ready, you may ladel it into a bowl.

Step 5: The bowl is presented to the guest of honor, or the most-prestigious guest. Bows are exchanged, between host/ess and guest of honor, then between guest of honor and second-prestigious guest. The bowl is raised in respect/honor for the host/ess, rotates the bowl to NOT drink from the front, and takes a few sips. Prayers may be said between sips depending on the theme/reason for your tea ceremony. The rim is wiped clean, then the bowl is rotated back to original position. The bowl is passed as the next round of bowing goes, followed by the same procedure for drinking and passing. If thick tea is used, there is another round of tea-making and bowl-passing for the thin tea.

Step 6: When the last guest has enjoyed the tea, it is time to begin the cleanup of the tools. Usually the guest of honor will request the host/ess to allow everyone to inspect, examine and marvel at the tools that were used to create the fine tea(s) they drank. The tools are then collected up by the host/ess, and the guests are allowed to leave the tea room.

Congratulations! You've just performed a traditional Japanese Tea Ceremony!


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