Product Review: Mega Marshmallow Munchie

Disclaimer: This post will be moved to my new official review blog once it has been chosen and launched.

The name kind of says it all - this marshmallow treat is "MEGA".



In fact, it's so rather large that until I picked it up to read that the serving size was 1/2 of the packaged treat, I felt that it was more of a meal than a snack.

You see, I grew up at a time when marshmallow treats seemed to really take rise in the marketplace.

And when I speak of "marshmallow treats", I am of course referring to "puffed rice mixed with butter and marshmallow and cut into bar shapes". Some call them "Rice Krispies Treats", but that's like calling all tissues "Kleenex".

I know that Rice Krispies cereal had been around for a long time before I was even born, and other puffed rice cereals, and that people had been using them with butter and marshmallows to make these treaty bars for quite some time. That's not the point. I was around for the official launching of the pre-made Rice Krispies Treats bars packaged and available in the supermarket. Since then, their popularity seems to have only gone up. Whether it's using a chocolate-y puffed rice cereal, or even a different cereal altogether, there's always something new going on with marshmallow treats.

Which brings me to the Mega Marshmallow Munchie. Which, as I mentioned, deserves the title of "Mega", as referenced here:


My hand may not be considered a large one, but it is still an adult hand, mostly obscured by the treat in question.

As for the taste, let me just say that it offers a very good amount of marshmallow, to the point where you can see the ribbons of sugary goodness when pulling off pieces. And you may likely be pulling off pieces, just because of the sheer size and thickness of the bar. It almost hurt my jaw just trying to get a full bite going. It was also difficult to get that bite due to my salivation at the idea of consuming such a monstrous treat.

I think that the only apt description when it comes to taste is "too much awesome".

Yes, the flavor is quite awesome. This particular treat came equipped with a sprinkling of little mini chocolate chips and rainbow-colored sprinkles on top. They added a nice bit of texture and flavor, but I'm glad they were only on the top and not throughout the entire bar. That way you get bites where the chocolate chips shine through and bites where you're just enjoying a well-made marshmallow treat by itself.

In the end, I do have to include the "too much" phrasing to the description. This is not meant to be a solo endeavor. The nutritional information (which I think is bunk when it comes to non-nutritional things in general) does state that the servings per container is TWO. Of course, the Food and Drug Administration also ridiculously seems to think that a serving of ice cream is 1/2 of a cup, but that's a matter for a different review.

I struggled in a delectable battle and inevitably did win, but even I (a very fat man) felt it was too much to be doing alone. But I would rather overeat than be "that guy" who wrapped up half of his marshmallow treat in plastic wrap to save for later at another appropriate snacking time.

So that's the story of the Mega Marshmallow Munchie. It does come in more flavors, but this is the one I had on hand to review. I'll either add a new review if I get hold of the other flavors, or just edit this one to include them.


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Energy Drink Review - Spike Shooter

So on Sunday, I was roaming the streets of the Loop after working extra hours and was feeling thirsty for an energy drink, so I wound up at some 7-11 to check out their selection and something new caught my eye. Mostly because it had a large warning label.

Spike Shooter
Warning - Do Not Exceed One Can Per Day

So of course I had to buy it.

Well, I'll let ME tell you all about it:


So that was Sunday. Then on Monday, I wound up working more overtime, into the wee hours of the morning. Tuesday 7am found me back at my desk on 3 hours of sleep total and I knew these were the perfect conditions where I'd need a real energy drink (not that my standard daily consumption of Amp, Monster or other energy drinks isn't real or anything - just seemed like "warning label"-level energy drink conditions). At 8:30am I was resolved (and wanted witnesses, as most of the office is in by that point) to try this sucker out.

And no, I wouldn't be starting with a half-can to test my tolerance!

HAAAAAAAAA!!! <-- Manly laugh

I think my face on the video and statement sums it all up:


"This tastes like a bad idea."

Here's what I can recall of my day past that point...

8:45am
Okay, this is no problem. Aside from a bitter taste in my mouth, I'm starting to feel some energy kick in. I think my thoughts are becoming clearer and less-dulled than before the can.

9:00am
Whoa, this is officially too much energy for my brain to handle. If only they made a beverage to give you lucidity instead of just energy. I can feel my muscles twitching already as the initial caffeine surge moves through my bloodstream.

10:00am
Leg-shaking has begun. My heartbeat has definitely increased, though I have no way of verifying this statement. If only I could remember how to properly take my radial pulse! The energy is useless if your brain can't harness the power in a positive manner!

12:00pm
Okay, now I don't need to recall how to properly take a radial pulse because putting a hand on my chest yields a perfect monitor for my heartbeat. It is going STRONG - and now I'm worried that this is due to some increase in blood pressure from consuming this thing. I already have a bit of a high blood pressure issue (more stress-related than anything else, but I won't ignore my horrible diet contributing) and I've determined that if my nose (or anything else) starts spontaneously bleeding, I'm going home for the day.

It is at this point that I realize that any further thirst on my end has mindlessly resulted in sips from my standard-issue energy drink. It gets put in the fridge so it's out of my hand's unconscious reach. The warning label only said I couldn't have more that one can of Spike Shooter in a day, it didn't specifically say I couldn't have any other energy drinks! Still, I need to take a break from energy drinks. I grab a less-caffeinated can of Diet Coke and press onward.

2:00pm
Heartbeat still running fast and strong, and now my stomach is really growling. Perhaps I've burned up some energy and need to refill. Perhaps I've just been awake for 21 of the past 24 hours and in that time only had some spaghetti around 9pm the previous night, meaning I should probably take a lunch today.

Stupidly chose McDonald's. Because Shamrock Shakes are back in effect! Upon consuming the french fries, I recall my previous worries about blood pressure. This is not enough to stop me from eating, but at least I gave it a thought.

The headache is now subsiding a little, and I'm feeling a bit more normalized. My leg still has bouts of twitching and I am in no need of any further energy-laden drink.

4:00pm
Headache gone. Can no longer feel heartbeat as easily through chest. Using sentence fragments.

At the time, I was way too into my usual routine to notice much difference going on. This either means that at the 7-hour mark, the caffeine and whatnot has withdrawn to my usual levels - or I'm just way too busy to notice my own physiology. Zen and the Art of Energy Drinks? I dunno.

7:15pm
Finally able to leave the office. All tremors are gone, but I feel the fatigue settling back in as I hit a cab to take me home. I'm still feeling ALERT, but my response time has only deteriorated since about noon and it's very evident during the cab ride.

9:30pm
Had some dinner. Sleepiness is now teaming up with muscle fatigue and it's bedtime. I highly doubt that had I taken this energy drink 6 hours before bedtime that I would be able to sleep at all (the warning label includes the statement to not consume less than 6 hours before bedtime). Altogether, it's been a wild ride - but it provided me and my co-workers with some entertainment in-between the rants about how crazy/dumb I am for doing such a thing.

But hey - if they make the product, I'm going to want to review it!

What do you think? Am I a fool for doing this? Have you encountered/consumed this product? Leave a comment and let me know!

And then Digg this article!

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24:7 Energy - A Generic Energy Drink

Today’s energy drink of mention is called “24:7 Energy” (Lemon Lime flavor) – or at least I THINK that’s what it’s called. I honestly haven’t found much documentation for it at all during my searches today. The can itself is rather simple. The numbers 24:7 appear in large digital-clock-style print, with the small word “ENERGY” underneath them. The bottom area of the can is just various blurry small versions of the main logo over and over. They were on sale at my local Walgreens, so I picked up the Lemon Lime and the Cherry Berry flavors, thinking I could check them off my energy drink checklist that I got from BevNet’s 2007 compilation.

I started consuming, and did my searches to find more info, like I did for Jolt Cola yesterday. Unfortunately, the beverage was nowhere to be found on my BevNet list. BevNet had no idea what this drink was. After several hours, I finally found some answers. It turns out that the reason it was on sale at Walgreens and that NOBODY knows anything about it – it because it’s technically a Walgreens item. One of those moderate knockoffs they can sell cheaper while making it exclusive to their store. So if you read this review and want one – you’re stuck having to go to Walgreens or you’re out of luck.

But since it IS an energy drink, and I DID consume it, I’m writing a review anyway.

As for the nutrition – I haven’t been able to locate any information on the caffeine levels or any of the other energy-centric ingredients like taurine and any others with complex chemical-sounding names. I can see on the ingredients list that it does contain taurine and caffeine (more taurine than caffeine, judging by the printed order) – but again, no idea on levels, so I can’t compare it to anything else. As for the generic nutrition info, this drink contains 30g of sugar per serving. And at a 16-ounce can, that’s two full servings. The 30g is only a few more than your standard can of soda, and I’m guessing it doesn’t contain more caffeine than your average soda, either. The sodium content is 120mg per serving, though. That’s 5% of your daily recommended value (and 10% if you’re like most consumers and drink both servings at once).

So now it comes down to the final ratings:

Appearance: 5 of 10

The can is just average, in my opinion. And that’s probably because it’s a “generic-brand” beverage sold exclusively through Walgreens. I mean the logo and design are nice, but what’s the point if the product name doesn’t generate any information off the bat? I shouldn’t have to search extensively just to find out minimal details. If it wants to compete, there should be more information with a basic search. I shouldn’t have to go to the manufacturer’s website (PriLabs, Inc.) just to find out that the beverage does indeed EXIST.

Taste: 6 of 10

The flavor was listed as “Lemon Lime” but all I got out of it was “bitter citrus”. That sour taste was not a welcome accompaniment to the taurine bitterness that most people clamoring against Red Bull will recognize. At least I’m PRETTY SURE it’s because of the taurine. One would think that with the extra sugar, it would be a sweeter beverage. Not the case. Just acid citrus.

Mouthfeel: 4 of 10

I like my energy drinks carbonated, and this one was barely effervescent. The taurine (or whatever it was) gave it that energy drink bitter aftertaste that lingers at the back of the throat. To make matters worse, the sugary nature of the drink didn’t add to a sweet taste, but it did contribute to a sticky feeling in my throat I attribute to overly-sugary products. If you’ve ever eaten a bunch of candy and felt that lump of sticky saliva on the back of your tongue, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Energy: 8 of 10

Within about 30 minutes of consuming the can, I started noticing the energy overload. I got a bit of the hand-shakes, felt twitchy on and off, and noticed the energy level rising inside me. Unfortunately, it didn’t last. It took less than an hour for the extra-energy twitches to fully subside, leaving me with nothing but my normal dismal energy supply after two or three hours in total. Maybe it’s the possibly-low caffeine level or a too-high taurine level – all I know is that it was a rocket start that a few hours later left me with null but dead weight. Good kick, but no follow-through.

Overall: 5 of 10

What can be said about this Walgreens-exclusive energy drink? Well, it gave me energy – at the price of a not-too-pleasant taste and aftertaste. The energy didn’t last long, but I suppose it would be of use to those who just need a boost to get over something strenuous or one last hour of study at 2am while letting you crash around 4am safely. It’s got its uses – I prefer something with a little more staying power, as I’m sure many would agree. Just like with most knock-off brands, the cost is a little cheaper, but the product is nothing but average.

And five out of ten is certainly a testament to “average”.

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Jolt Cola Makes a Comeback!

Kids today just have no idea how easy they have it! The past few years have been marked in the history books with this surge of energy drinks flooding the market - giving children and teenagers alike more energy than youth has ever known before. Amid the befuddled psychologists wondering if it's Attention Deficit Disorder or another order of attention-defying energy drinks at work, we adults can even admit to having a few in lieu of the generic coffeehouse fodder letting us work the nine-to-five without feeling like a lunchtime nap.

But for those who can remember...

Back in 1985, a drink hit the market. Created by Wet Planet, this beverage gave the up-all-night crowd a newer and stronger jolt to the system to cram longer, code faster, or work another thumb-callus in the arcade or on a Nintendo Entertainment System.

Not by coincidence, this beverage was named Jolt - and the marketing gurus took off.

Jolt has always maintained a few slogans, such as "The Coffee Alternative" and "Twice the Caffeine".

Don't get those two mixed up - a can of Jolt Cola has never tried to contain twice the caffeine as a cup of coffee. It does, of course, measure up to one, proving that it is indeed an alternative to coffee. A 12-ounce can of Jolt Cola contains 72mg of caffeine. The average 8-ounce cup of coffee contains about 70mg (but of course can vary from 60mg to 120mg, depending on the strength of your brand - the instant stuff is usually closest to 70mg). As for the "popular" colas on the market, Pepsi comes in at 38mg and Coca-Cola comes in at 34mg. And when you've got the Marble Madness, twice the caffeine per can of soda can really make the difference! (For those of you who, like me, Do the Dew, Jolt has 42% more caffeine. Sorry.)

So that was then - and this is now. What's so new about this 20-year-old cola?

The marketing gurus are at it again.

I was walking down the aisle where the energy drinks are kept, and the word "JOLT" emblazoned across the can just caught my eye. "Is it true," I exclaimed, "that you've finally returned, ol' pal?" Indeed, a giantesque can of Jolt Cola was staring back at me. The can itself is a bit of a marvel. It's shaped like a battery, with a plus sign on the nodular top, like you'd find on a battery. This is the look of the 23.5-ounce variety of Jolt Cola (the size the marketing geniuses focused on). What makes this can different from other cans of energy drink is that while it's an aluminum can, it's also resealable. Which is good, because I'm really not the kind of guy who wants to be chugging 23.5 ounces of what I already KNOW is a heavily-caffeinated powerhouse. There's also an ingenius dashed line running up the can that's SUPPOSED to show you how much Jolt Cola you have left in the can. Maybe mine wasn't working properly. Maybe it got warm too fast and ruined the effect. I just didn't see it happening, which was a bit of a letdown.

What WASN'T a letdown was the cola itself - the same tasty brew I consumed in my bounding-off-the-walls youth. As far as colas go, it's pretty standard. The caffeine itself doesn't mar the taste in any way, and while it's NOT a Coke or a Pepsi, it's just as tasty and full of cola flavor. It's got the same 27g of sugar you'd find in the other colas.

So now it comes down to the final ratings:

Appearance: 8 of 10

While I liked the nifty bottle, it's a little busy and the non-functioning meter was disappointing. Even so, the resealable cap more than made up for it and gave it a lot of bonus points.

Taste: 8 of 10

It's just as good as it ever was. Nothing spectacular to make it stand out by taste alone, but in no way bitter like many other caffeine- and taurine-laden drinks can be. A standard cola taste makes this energy drink all the more consumable.

Mouthfeel: 8 of 10

I like my energy drinks carbonated, and this one not only delivered like a regular cola, the resealable cap kept it fizzier longer. Unfortunately, resealing the cap does nothing to keep it cool, and we all know what a bummer warm cola can be. At least it wasn't warm FLAT cola... No aftertaste, no gritty feeling - just the occasional jolt-causing belch. The way it should be.

Energy: 7 of 10

While the cola packs the same punch as it ever did, the world around it kept evolving and perhaps our energy drink market-flood has desensitized me to the rush caffeine can give. It certainly kept me awake and alert, and I have extra energy that I'm assuredly wasting by typing a review, but it was nothing to write home about. And if you DID write home about it, your hand wouldn't be shaking all over the place. Which I suppose can be a good thing.

Overall: 8 of 10

What else can I say? It's got a long, rich history - and a rich taste to match. I wouldn't stay it's going to be setting a standard or setting the bar for the next one - this was just the first. I've got a list of energy drinks currently available on the market and a drive to continue reviewing. I hope you all enjoyed the review as much as I enjoyed this revamped blast from my past.

Blast? I meant "Jolt". Read more!