Sweet Jesus, I am so incredibly pissed off over seeing yet another failure of a researcher producing yet another failure of an article based on some half-assed finding! Okay, so the person writing the article isn't exactly a "researcher" - more likely a journalist who was abysmal at every subject in school other than lying to the bullies to avoid getting beaten up or forging doctor's notes to get out of gym throughout high school.
Either way, a complete dipshit.
The article is about a study that showed a correlation between people who said they drink diet sodas and the subjects being overweight. That's seriously it. 41% of respondents who said they consume diet soda were overweight.
And the journalist immediately blurts out things like: "One recent study has shown that people who drink diet soda still have a 41 percent chance of being overweight."
Right off the fucking bat, with the ONE piece of real actual honest-to-goodness fucking SCIENTIFIC DATA and it's just slathered in make-up and given a skimpy bikini and made into whatever fashion of whore the journalist cares to make it out to be. They're actually implying causation IN THE CORRELATION!
It's not that those who consume diet soda have "a chance" to be overweight - it's simply that this percentage WERE overweight. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other, unless you feel like conducting THAT experiment to test THAT hypothesis!
Sure, they then go into some blather about "halo effect" and how you think you're being better to your body with certain consumables and it leads to overcompensation down the road for daily calories as a result. Again, nothing to do with the 41%. You can't just staple a fact to a scientific result and expect the resulting blood pool to be a testament to how the fact is represented by the lies you've made up about the data.
Not once did they ponder the notion that the obesity came first. Not once did they randomly speculate that instead of the consumption of diet sodas causing overweight participants that it MIGHT be the case of the participants being overweight causing them to consume diet sodas! I'm not saying that's the case - because I know better than to assume that correlation is grounds for causation - but I'm throwing out a tat for their tit in the grand scheme of Devil's Advocacy.
I happen to be overweight. And I happen to try and consume more diet soda as a result of being overweight. To hopefully see the result of being LESS overweight.
No matter what some bogus idiot decides to claim about the mangled remains of a once-adequately-scientific study.
(Judge the article for yourself!)
Read more!
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
The Big 'Nuk!
The holiday of Hanukkah is shrouded in mystery for most people, some Jews included. Over time, the celebration has become a bit deluded and competitive with Christmas in the category of traditions and merchandising. It vies for contention in the mentioning of winter holidays - and few people know a single thing about the holiday itself.
For starters, how to spell it.
The most common spelling out there is Hanukkah. H, not Ch - one n, two k's, and another h. Some versions opt with the Ch for that gutteral sound like the Hebrew letter used in the Hebrew name for the holiday. Some versions go with double n's, some a single k, and it's rare - but a few spellings drop off the h at the end for some reason. My unofficial name for the holiday stems from the few things all spellings agree on:
"The Big 'Nuk"
The 'Nuk, like Christmas, has roots going far back in history - with an original storyline that often gets twisted up into things pretty enough to make a gift card with or tell to a youth at bedtime. Christmas has its Santa Claus - the 'Nuk has a miracle of oil.
It all began long long ago, around 168 B.C.E. (That's 'Before the Common Era', since Judaism doesn't have much use for B.C. and A.D.). That was when the Seleucid monarch, Antiochus IV, declared that Judaism should be abolished. Jews were massacred, and soldiers literally went around "uncircumcising" people. (If you thought the idea of circumcision was painful, imagine a forceful method of "correcting" that!) Amid the slaughter, the Holy Temple of Jerusalem was looted and desecrated. Eventually, Antiochus IV demanded that an altar to Zeus be erected in the Temple, and the rebellion officially started with Mattathias and his five sons: John, Simon, Eleazar, Jonathan, and Judah. In the rebellion, Mattathias was killed and Judah took over as leader of the rebellion, complete with a new title, "Judah Maccabee" - or "Judah the Hammer".
The Jews proved, as usual, to be a feisty bunch and in 165 BCE, the revolt against the Seleucid monarchy was successful. They stormed the Temple and celebrated the "chanukah" - the "Rededication" of the Holy Temple. (That's where the holiday gets its name.) This is the point where the celebration gives birth to the holiday legends. In all the historical accounts, there is no "miracle" - other than winning a rebellion against a monarch's rule with such a small militia. The books simply state that the rededication celebration lasted eight days.
This eventually became a legend of sorts, to further explain WHY the celebration lasted so long (aside from pure jubilation). The legend goes on to say that when they went to rededicate the Temple, the amount of holy candle oil left undesecrated was only enough to last for one night, yet the flames lasted an entire eight nights - the amount of time necessary to produce and bless a new batch of oil for lighting the menorah in the Holy Temple. Another explanation for the eight-day celebration was that the rebellion had lasted so long that another important holiday had been passed by - the celebration of Sukkot, which lasts eight days. Upon the end of the rebellion, the Jews celebrated a belated Sukkot for those eight days. Either way, due to the miracle of the oil story or the importance of candles/lights in the spirit of the Holy Temple's rededication - the holiday is also known as the "Festival of Lights".
So the celebration of the miraculous oil, or just the rededication lighting of the Temple's menorah, sparked the tradition of lighting the chanukiyah for eight nights. This as well was debated. There were two schools of thought regarding the lighting of the candles: one that starts with eight candles and reduces by one each night, the other starting with one and adding one each night. Eventually, the addition of candles was the winner of the debate. More specifically, the tradition is that the first candle goes on the far RIGHT, and added candles extend to the LEFT. HOWEVER, the candles each night are lit (by the "shamash" candle) going from LEFT to RIGHT, lighting the newest candle first.
Looking for MORE candle-related traditions?
On the Sabbath, the candles that are lit are the last flames created and are therefore used as a source of light, sometimes as a heating element, and cannot be extinguished except by naturally dying out. On the Big 'Nuk, the candles are purely for the purpose of celebration. They are NOT to be used as lighting or heating or anything other than enjoyment and looking pretty. For this reason, it is okay to put them out - should the need arise, though I'm not sure why one would...
While the tradition of giving presents is modern, and usually attributed to competition with Christmas, there are historic traditional foods that are eaten - and make this holiday #2 of my favorite Jewish holidays for the food aspects. Of course, when the celebration and ensuing miracle tales are all about the usage of OIL - the traditional foods of the Big 'Nuk are all FRIED! Fried potato pancakes ("latkes") rank the highest, but another traditional fried food is "sufganyot" - JELLY DOUGHNUTS! As for chocolate coins, that tradition is based on the games with dreidles and that coins/money were given to children as holiday gifts. 20th-century chocolatiers created the gold-foiled chocolates, which replaced real coinage - and present-giving took over thanks to competition with Christmas.
Let me end this with the traditional THIRD prayer said over the candles on the FIRST night of Hanukkah (tonight):
Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, shehecheyanu, v'kiyemanu, vehigi-anu laz'man hazeh.
Praised are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Who has kept us in life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season.
Okay, I believe that covers everything! Anything I left out? Anything??
Oh yes, Hanukkah Harry and the Hanukkah Bush - purely modern holiday-wannabe hilarity.
And my #1 favorite Jewish holiday, since the 'Nuk ranked #2?
It's called "Purim", and is practically a combination of Hallowe'en and St. Patty's Day - combining costumed parties with the celebration of getting so drunk you can't tell "Mordechai" from "Haman". And that's PRETTY drunk!
But that's another story, and another rant, for another day. Happy Hanukkah! Read more!
For starters, how to spell it.
The most common spelling out there is Hanukkah. H, not Ch - one n, two k's, and another h. Some versions opt with the Ch for that gutteral sound like the Hebrew letter used in the Hebrew name for the holiday. Some versions go with double n's, some a single k, and it's rare - but a few spellings drop off the h at the end for some reason. My unofficial name for the holiday stems from the few things all spellings agree on:
"The Big 'Nuk"
The 'Nuk, like Christmas, has roots going far back in history - with an original storyline that often gets twisted up into things pretty enough to make a gift card with or tell to a youth at bedtime. Christmas has its Santa Claus - the 'Nuk has a miracle of oil.
It all began long long ago, around 168 B.C.E. (That's 'Before the Common Era', since Judaism doesn't have much use for B.C. and A.D.). That was when the Seleucid monarch, Antiochus IV, declared that Judaism should be abolished. Jews were massacred, and soldiers literally went around "uncircumcising" people. (If you thought the idea of circumcision was painful, imagine a forceful method of "correcting" that!) Amid the slaughter, the Holy Temple of Jerusalem was looted and desecrated. Eventually, Antiochus IV demanded that an altar to Zeus be erected in the Temple, and the rebellion officially started with Mattathias and his five sons: John, Simon, Eleazar, Jonathan, and Judah. In the rebellion, Mattathias was killed and Judah took over as leader of the rebellion, complete with a new title, "Judah Maccabee" - or "Judah the Hammer".
The Jews proved, as usual, to be a feisty bunch and in 165 BCE, the revolt against the Seleucid monarchy was successful. They stormed the Temple and celebrated the "chanukah" - the "Rededication" of the Holy Temple. (That's where the holiday gets its name.) This is the point where the celebration gives birth to the holiday legends. In all the historical accounts, there is no "miracle" - other than winning a rebellion against a monarch's rule with such a small militia. The books simply state that the rededication celebration lasted eight days.
This eventually became a legend of sorts, to further explain WHY the celebration lasted so long (aside from pure jubilation). The legend goes on to say that when they went to rededicate the Temple, the amount of holy candle oil left undesecrated was only enough to last for one night, yet the flames lasted an entire eight nights - the amount of time necessary to produce and bless a new batch of oil for lighting the menorah in the Holy Temple. Another explanation for the eight-day celebration was that the rebellion had lasted so long that another important holiday had been passed by - the celebration of Sukkot, which lasts eight days. Upon the end of the rebellion, the Jews celebrated a belated Sukkot for those eight days. Either way, due to the miracle of the oil story or the importance of candles/lights in the spirit of the Holy Temple's rededication - the holiday is also known as the "Festival of Lights".
So the celebration of the miraculous oil, or just the rededication lighting of the Temple's menorah, sparked the tradition of lighting the chanukiyah for eight nights. This as well was debated. There were two schools of thought regarding the lighting of the candles: one that starts with eight candles and reduces by one each night, the other starting with one and adding one each night. Eventually, the addition of candles was the winner of the debate. More specifically, the tradition is that the first candle goes on the far RIGHT, and added candles extend to the LEFT. HOWEVER, the candles each night are lit (by the "shamash" candle) going from LEFT to RIGHT, lighting the newest candle first.
Looking for MORE candle-related traditions?
On the Sabbath, the candles that are lit are the last flames created and are therefore used as a source of light, sometimes as a heating element, and cannot be extinguished except by naturally dying out. On the Big 'Nuk, the candles are purely for the purpose of celebration. They are NOT to be used as lighting or heating or anything other than enjoyment and looking pretty. For this reason, it is okay to put them out - should the need arise, though I'm not sure why one would...
While the tradition of giving presents is modern, and usually attributed to competition with Christmas, there are historic traditional foods that are eaten - and make this holiday #2 of my favorite Jewish holidays for the food aspects. Of course, when the celebration and ensuing miracle tales are all about the usage of OIL - the traditional foods of the Big 'Nuk are all FRIED! Fried potato pancakes ("latkes") rank the highest, but another traditional fried food is "sufganyot" - JELLY DOUGHNUTS! As for chocolate coins, that tradition is based on the games with dreidles and that coins/money were given to children as holiday gifts. 20th-century chocolatiers created the gold-foiled chocolates, which replaced real coinage - and present-giving took over thanks to competition with Christmas.
Let me end this with the traditional THIRD prayer said over the candles on the FIRST night of Hanukkah (tonight):
Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, shehecheyanu, v'kiyemanu, vehigi-anu laz'man hazeh.
Praised are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Who has kept us in life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season.
Okay, I believe that covers everything! Anything I left out? Anything??
Oh yes, Hanukkah Harry and the Hanukkah Bush - purely modern holiday-wannabe hilarity.
And my #1 favorite Jewish holiday, since the 'Nuk ranked #2?
It's called "Purim", and is practically a combination of Hallowe'en and St. Patty's Day - combining costumed parties with the celebration of getting so drunk you can't tell "Mordechai" from "Haman". And that's PRETTY drunk!
But that's another story, and another rant, for another day. Happy Hanukkah! Read more!
Bad Acting and Prophetic Dreams
I am usually not one for dreaming up prophecies, or having dreams that literally come true. I have a lot of deja vu moments during the average week, though - and most of those times it's because it feels like I dreamed about it at some point in the past. It feels even weirder when the moment itself is incredibly boring or routine - which means that I have been dreaming about my dull and boring life.
Last night / this morning, I got of got this shock. I'm pretty sure I'd hit the snooze button once or twice, which leads to very vivid half-awake/half-asleep dreaming, but the message was loud and clear. Let me take you to my crazy dreamworld. Well, before that I'd better let you know what I did last night (since dreams are just short-term memories being downloaded into long-term memory, for those of you who didn't take a boring Psychology class like I did).
If you've ever seen the show Jackass, you'll have a base understanding of what I'm talking about. If you've also seen the show Viva La Bam (technically a spinoff of Jackass, I think), you're right on track. Basically I've recently been watching the CKY movie series. CKY (or Camp Kill Yourself) is most of the original Jackass group and all of the stunts they were pulling long before Jackass even made it on the air. In fact, a few scenes from the CKY movies are almost certainly worked into the first season of Jackass. It's wild. Anyway, last night I watched the film "Haggard" - which is basically the entire cast of Jackass (well, the entire cast of Viva La Bam) trying to do what SEEMS to be an authentic full-length feature film. Seriously. The acting is crappy and spotty, all of the characters are like weird personae thought up by the actors, and the plotline is almost decent. Rather full of holes, but still passable as a storyline.
Cue up the dream sequence, and the dream itself was full of bad acting. There was something about a field trip back at my elementary school, and lots of spreadsheets were involved. Combine a boring job with a bad-acting movie and that's apparently what you get. The end of the dream is what I remember most vividly. I'm in the back seat of my parents' car as they're picking me up from this field trip. They're talking about something, asking me some questions about how it was and if I had a good time. We get to the end of my elementary school's driveway, and my mom turns around and says, "Ethan is braindead." and that just jolts me completely out of sleep and the radio alarm goes off.
Ethan is the name of my cousin. And I sat there in bed for several minutes trying to acknowledge that I was having a dream. Some of my dreams involve long conversations about important things, and then I have to get out of bed because I know that I'm obviously not talking to anyone because my phone is nowhere near the bed and these people are obviously not in my room. But it all feels so REAL.
So now I'm sitting here at the office, wondering if I should call home and ask about my cousin.
I know that if something WERE wrong (like him being braindead or something happening to him that would cause such a thing) - my parents would have contacted me to let me know. Do I risk sounding like a paranoid freak of nature and call to ASK if something's wrong? Do I share my vision of impending doom and give yet another item to add to their list of reasons why I belong in professional psychological therapy sessions.
It later occurred to me that I know of a few Ethans, not necessarily my cousin (the first one who came to mind). My friend's nephew is named Ethan - I hear her talk about him all the time. Babies are just as vulnerable to brain death as teenagers...
(Update: It's the mid-afternoon and neither my mother nor friend have mentioned an Ethan or braindead states. I think it really was all a dream.) Read more!
Last night / this morning, I got of got this shock. I'm pretty sure I'd hit the snooze button once or twice, which leads to very vivid half-awake/half-asleep dreaming, but the message was loud and clear. Let me take you to my crazy dreamworld. Well, before that I'd better let you know what I did last night (since dreams are just short-term memories being downloaded into long-term memory, for those of you who didn't take a boring Psychology class like I did).
If you've ever seen the show Jackass, you'll have a base understanding of what I'm talking about. If you've also seen the show Viva La Bam (technically a spinoff of Jackass, I think), you're right on track. Basically I've recently been watching the CKY movie series. CKY (or Camp Kill Yourself) is most of the original Jackass group and all of the stunts they were pulling long before Jackass even made it on the air. In fact, a few scenes from the CKY movies are almost certainly worked into the first season of Jackass. It's wild. Anyway, last night I watched the film "Haggard" - which is basically the entire cast of Jackass (well, the entire cast of Viva La Bam) trying to do what SEEMS to be an authentic full-length feature film. Seriously. The acting is crappy and spotty, all of the characters are like weird personae thought up by the actors, and the plotline is almost decent. Rather full of holes, but still passable as a storyline.
Cue up the dream sequence, and the dream itself was full of bad acting. There was something about a field trip back at my elementary school, and lots of spreadsheets were involved. Combine a boring job with a bad-acting movie and that's apparently what you get. The end of the dream is what I remember most vividly. I'm in the back seat of my parents' car as they're picking me up from this field trip. They're talking about something, asking me some questions about how it was and if I had a good time. We get to the end of my elementary school's driveway, and my mom turns around and says, "Ethan is braindead." and that just jolts me completely out of sleep and the radio alarm goes off.
Ethan is the name of my cousin. And I sat there in bed for several minutes trying to acknowledge that I was having a dream. Some of my dreams involve long conversations about important things, and then I have to get out of bed because I know that I'm obviously not talking to anyone because my phone is nowhere near the bed and these people are obviously not in my room. But it all feels so REAL.
So now I'm sitting here at the office, wondering if I should call home and ask about my cousin.
I know that if something WERE wrong (like him being braindead or something happening to him that would cause such a thing) - my parents would have contacted me to let me know. Do I risk sounding like a paranoid freak of nature and call to ASK if something's wrong? Do I share my vision of impending doom and give yet another item to add to their list of reasons why I belong in professional psychological therapy sessions.
It later occurred to me that I know of a few Ethans, not necessarily my cousin (the first one who came to mind). My friend's nephew is named Ethan - I hear her talk about him all the time. Babies are just as vulnerable to brain death as teenagers...
(Update: It's the mid-afternoon and neither my mother nor friend have mentioned an Ethan or braindead states. I think it really was all a dream.) Read more!
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Letter to RedEye: Smoking Ban
Still trying to get published again. I'll let you know if anything comes of this one.
(UPDATE: Got published! As usual, everything in bold is what they printed - you get to see the entire unedited version!)
I think that the smoking ban is a horrible idea. Banning the use of something that is approved for sale is a ridiculous notion, even if it's for the supposed "greater good" of preventing secondhand smoke. The product can be sold at any establishment and is regulated by the federal government, but with this ban anyone purchasing that product is like a pariah. That makes as much sense as saying, "Here is your cupcake - now go outside if you want to eat that because you're offending the other customers with your cupcake-eating. You're putting them all at risk of being killed by getting crushed by a fat person!"
While I'm not going to turn a deaf ear to all of the scientific research about secondhand smoke and its effects, my gut is telling me that most of the secondhand smoke damage is done either at home over a prolonged period of time, or working in a previously-smoke-friendly location - not having to be in the same area as a smoker during lunch a few times a week. My gut also tells me that I inhale more poisons into my body from crossing one traffic-filled street downtown than I would by spending an hour in the non-smoking section of a restaurant (even if the entire smoking section were filled with chain-smokers). And that's just one street-crossing. So unless the government plans on foolishly trying to remove all cars from the downtown area (oh wait, Alderman Burke proposed a downtown toll) or removing all the buses as well (oh wait, Doomsday in January's got that covered) - I'd prefer if lawmakers started focusing on real crimes and enforcing laws that keep real dangers from harming me. Stop taking away our liberties. Oh, and just for the record, I'm a non-smoker.
Aaron Samuels, 24, Bridgeport Read more!
(UPDATE: Got published! As usual, everything in bold is what they printed - you get to see the entire unedited version!)
I think that the smoking ban is a horrible idea. Banning the use of something that is approved for sale is a ridiculous notion, even if it's for the supposed "greater good" of preventing secondhand smoke. The product can be sold at any establishment and is regulated by the federal government, but with this ban anyone purchasing that product is like a pariah. That makes as much sense as saying, "Here is your cupcake - now go outside if you want to eat that because you're offending the other customers with your cupcake-eating. You're putting them all at risk of being killed by getting crushed by a fat person!"
While I'm not going to turn a deaf ear to all of the scientific research about secondhand smoke and its effects, my gut is telling me that most of the secondhand smoke damage is done either at home over a prolonged period of time, or working in a previously-smoke-friendly location - not having to be in the same area as a smoker during lunch a few times a week. My gut also tells me that I inhale more poisons into my body from crossing one traffic-filled street downtown than I would by spending an hour in the non-smoking section of a restaurant (even if the entire smoking section were filled with chain-smokers). And that's just one street-crossing. So unless the government plans on foolishly trying to remove all cars from the downtown area (oh wait, Alderman Burke proposed a downtown toll) or removing all the buses as well (oh wait, Doomsday in January's got that covered) - I'd prefer if lawmakers started focusing on real crimes and enforcing laws that keep real dangers from harming me. Stop taking away our liberties. Oh, and just for the record, I'm a non-smoker.
Aaron Samuels, 24, Bridgeport Read more!
Monday, December 03, 2007
Hibernation
I think I'm starting to understand why bears hibernate.
Winter kind of sucks, for the most part. Don't get me wrong, I hate the heat and sun of summer and I love it when the temperatures get down below 60 degrees. It's just that once they drop below 30, it's like everyone else shuts down. Nobody wants to go anywhere, nobody wants to do anything, nobody wants to leave the warm sanctuary of their home. Which kind of leaves me isolated in my cave with nothing to do but sleep.
I used to have TV as a fall-back, but the internet has spoiled me when it comes to having to watch commercials, and the writer's strike has meant nothing of quality is available to watch fresh now. The biggest alternatives are eating (which doesn't work, because I like having something to watch while I eat) and sleeping (which totally works whenever).
Hence, I think I slept a majority of the weekend away. And loved it. I think I seriously got like 30 hours of sleep in this weekend. And I'm still tired. I'm loathing being at the office right now and I'd much rather be in bed, in dreamland. Wake me when it's almost spring.
I'm also starting to understand why bears are grumpy to the point of being godless killing machines.
Drag a bear out of his cave before the spring thaw and see what happens to your limbs. I bet mauling and gnawing come into play very quickly. I expect similar flares of anger coming from me today, whether I want to control them or not. Some Mondays, you just have to realize that you're dragging several bears out of their caves a few weeks too early, and the consequences will be dire.
Winter should really be prone to 80-day weekends. Read more!
Winter kind of sucks, for the most part. Don't get me wrong, I hate the heat and sun of summer and I love it when the temperatures get down below 60 degrees. It's just that once they drop below 30, it's like everyone else shuts down. Nobody wants to go anywhere, nobody wants to do anything, nobody wants to leave the warm sanctuary of their home. Which kind of leaves me isolated in my cave with nothing to do but sleep.
I used to have TV as a fall-back, but the internet has spoiled me when it comes to having to watch commercials, and the writer's strike has meant nothing of quality is available to watch fresh now. The biggest alternatives are eating (which doesn't work, because I like having something to watch while I eat) and sleeping (which totally works whenever).
Hence, I think I slept a majority of the weekend away. And loved it. I think I seriously got like 30 hours of sleep in this weekend. And I'm still tired. I'm loathing being at the office right now and I'd much rather be in bed, in dreamland. Wake me when it's almost spring.
I'm also starting to understand why bears are grumpy to the point of being godless killing machines.
Drag a bear out of his cave before the spring thaw and see what happens to your limbs. I bet mauling and gnawing come into play very quickly. I expect similar flares of anger coming from me today, whether I want to control them or not. Some Mondays, you just have to realize that you're dragging several bears out of their caves a few weeks too early, and the consequences will be dire.
Winter should really be prone to 80-day weekends. Read more!
Friday, November 30, 2007
Public Displays of Affection
Most of the time, I get my ideas for what to write about directly from the morning paper. My morning paper of choice is the Chicago RedEye, mostly because I live in Chicago and it's also free. The paper is pretty much just all of the popular stories from the Chicago Tribune (the RedEye's parent newspaper), and reading through everything but the sports and clubs/bars/annoying-music sections takes me about 10-15 minutes.
The focal story on the cover is about PDA (the kissing kind, not your damned PalmPilot kind) - and the sidebar invites readers to respond to: "Do you think PDA is OK? If so, what types are acceptable? And where?" So here are some of my thoughts on the subject.
I think that PDA is completely fine, in theory. I mean, call me a nerd, but I take the term at its completely-literal meaning. Public displays of affection are just that, basically "letting everyone know how you feel." Everyone seems to have decided that PDA only refers to one particular type of affection and a limited list of display options. I'll address the common denominator first.
You have love/lust for someone and don't want to hold back in public. Fine. I really don't care, and I think it's fine at pretty much all levels. From hand-holding to humping, whatever you want to do, you do it. As long as the recipient is willing, of course. I'm perfectly comfortable being on the same train as a man who's dry-humping a woman while he licks her face and also tenderly holds her hand - I'd just prefer it if she actually wanted these things done to/with her. My guidelines are that it's all good - but it's up to the PA-displayers to make sure that what they're doing doesn't violate any actual laws.
Frankly, the public indecency laws need to be abolished. We shouldn't be allowed to dictate what is "decent" and arrest those who don't follow the code. If that's truly acceptable, then I want Fergie to be deemed "indecent" due to her song "My Humps" and have her locked up for life, if not given the death penalty for corrupting the minds of preteen girls nationwide.
The last question asks where it's acceptable, and the answer is right there in front of your face. "In public." If it's being done in a location that is not public property, I find it wrong to consider it a "public display of affection." People can argue that the 'public' refers to "the general public being able to see it", but I see it as the guideline itself.
For example, a Walgreens is not a public place. It's open TO the public, but the business owner reserves the right to refuse service for whatever reason. You are a guest in that person's establishment - it is not public space wherein you can do whatever you want. The CTA, however, is a form of public transportation and I think that PDA is acceptable there.
So in conclusion, PDA is acceptable to me at any legal level in any public place. In the words of my newest role model Scott Adams, "But of course, there are obvious exceptions." One such exception is my parents. I am not comfortable with THEIR public displays of affection, in any venue or at any level. I'm also not very comfortable with PDAs made by anyone grotesque or ancient. Sorry, but if I'm barely comfortable looking at you, I'm certainly not going to feel comfortable looking at you while you're doing anything of that nature. Abe Vigoda could be tonguelocked with Heidi Klum - I'm still not going to find it pleasant. However, my comfort levels have nothing to do with things being OK or acceptable.
Lastly, I just want to touch upon the common misconception that all PDA involves this love/lust concept. Affection is based on "affect" and refers to ANY feeling or emotion. Crying on a park bench is a public display of affection. Screaming really loud when someone scares you in the park is a public display of affection. Even two screeching girls reminiscing on the street about how long it's been since they've had a martini-induced night of debauchery would constitute as a public display of affection.
Start limiting one, and you'd have to start limiting all of them.
Just remember - even though you should accept it, that doesn't mean you should always be comfortable with it. You just can't punish them because you aren't comfortable with it.
(The RedEye article online)
Read more!
The focal story on the cover is about PDA (the kissing kind, not your damned PalmPilot kind) - and the sidebar invites readers to respond to: "Do you think PDA is OK? If so, what types are acceptable? And where?" So here are some of my thoughts on the subject.
I think that PDA is completely fine, in theory. I mean, call me a nerd, but I take the term at its completely-literal meaning. Public displays of affection are just that, basically "letting everyone know how you feel." Everyone seems to have decided that PDA only refers to one particular type of affection and a limited list of display options. I'll address the common denominator first.
You have love/lust for someone and don't want to hold back in public. Fine. I really don't care, and I think it's fine at pretty much all levels. From hand-holding to humping, whatever you want to do, you do it. As long as the recipient is willing, of course. I'm perfectly comfortable being on the same train as a man who's dry-humping a woman while he licks her face and also tenderly holds her hand - I'd just prefer it if she actually wanted these things done to/with her. My guidelines are that it's all good - but it's up to the PA-displayers to make sure that what they're doing doesn't violate any actual laws.
Frankly, the public indecency laws need to be abolished. We shouldn't be allowed to dictate what is "decent" and arrest those who don't follow the code. If that's truly acceptable, then I want Fergie to be deemed "indecent" due to her song "My Humps" and have her locked up for life, if not given the death penalty for corrupting the minds of preteen girls nationwide.
The last question asks where it's acceptable, and the answer is right there in front of your face. "In public." If it's being done in a location that is not public property, I find it wrong to consider it a "public display of affection." People can argue that the 'public' refers to "the general public being able to see it", but I see it as the guideline itself.
For example, a Walgreens is not a public place. It's open TO the public, but the business owner reserves the right to refuse service for whatever reason. You are a guest in that person's establishment - it is not public space wherein you can do whatever you want. The CTA, however, is a form of public transportation and I think that PDA is acceptable there.
So in conclusion, PDA is acceptable to me at any legal level in any public place. In the words of my newest role model Scott Adams, "But of course, there are obvious exceptions." One such exception is my parents. I am not comfortable with THEIR public displays of affection, in any venue or at any level. I'm also not very comfortable with PDAs made by anyone grotesque or ancient. Sorry, but if I'm barely comfortable looking at you, I'm certainly not going to feel comfortable looking at you while you're doing anything of that nature. Abe Vigoda could be tonguelocked with Heidi Klum - I'm still not going to find it pleasant. However, my comfort levels have nothing to do with things being OK or acceptable.
Lastly, I just want to touch upon the common misconception that all PDA involves this love/lust concept. Affection is based on "affect" and refers to ANY feeling or emotion. Crying on a park bench is a public display of affection. Screaming really loud when someone scares you in the park is a public display of affection. Even two screeching girls reminiscing on the street about how long it's been since they've had a martini-induced night of debauchery would constitute as a public display of affection.
Start limiting one, and you'd have to start limiting all of them.
Just remember - even though you should accept it, that doesn't mean you should always be comfortable with it. You just can't punish them because you aren't comfortable with it.
(The RedEye article online)
Read more!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
CTA - Chicago Transit by Aaron?
I was in a particularly chatty mood last night while on my way home. Perhaps it was the thrill of being anywhere other than work. Yes, that's probably it. Anyway, I got off the train to transfer to my bus route home (#44) and only saw a bus at the #8 loading station. A few seconds went by, and I noticed the lights on the bus there flashing "Wallace/Racine", which is what a #44 bus would say. So just as I peek my head out to see if this is truly a #44, it pulls out. Of course.
And yes, it was a #44 bus. Which meant waiting for the next one with the five other people who just got fooled the same way. We all started chatting about how annoying it is when the bus gets ready to leave, pulls into the different area to pick someone else up, and fools everyone else who wants to rush and get on before it leaves but can't find it because it's in the wrong spot.
Another one pulled up about two minutes later, and of course then sat there at the station for ten minutes or so. Luckily, an odd train of thought entered my head when I was talking to one of my regular Bus Ladies (I don't know their names, they're just ladies who often ride the same buses as me) and said, "Well, either way, I'm sure going to miss it come January."
You see, due to idiocy at practically every level of government going up from the city level that's supposed to fund it's damned public transportation, in January we have yet another huge Doomsday planned. They'll be cutting service for over sixty different bus lines. Our #44 is slated for death. And that's when the idea struck me:
How profitable would it be to buy an old CTA bus and run it along one of the deceased routes?
I haven't had time to sit down and do any math yet, so figures will all be estimated and probably way off. But the office is quiet, I'm not yet on the clock, and I'm interested in figuring this out.
Let's say that a reasonable estimated figure to purchase an old bus is $25,000. I'm guessing that new ones are upwards of $70,000 - but these are old, probably outdated models that clunk and have over 150,000 miles or so on them. And yes, I'd pick one that at least runs.
So I pick one of the routes that got shut down and was populated enough to guarantee at least 3/4 capacity at all times (especially with all the people waiting since I run maybe once an hour or so with one damned bus all by myself for the entire route). I can only charge cash, since CTA cards would do me no good, but I'd keep things at the $2/ride mark - even if Doomsday would increase cash fares to like $3. The discount is because it would encourage riders and apologize for not being able to give transfers to the real CTA.
So let's say the average bus can hold, also on average, 40 people (when not crammed in like sardines).
So waiting at the start point, I get between 50-75% capacity before pulling out. That's about 25 people, which is $50. Let's also give a lowball estimate of how many stops are on the route - I'll go with about 40, since I'd pick a small route to start - and assume that a minimum of 2 people on average get on at each stop. I'm guessing most stops would be much more than 2, but with empty stops in-between let's go with 2 for now as an average. That's $4 per stop, which is $80 for the route by the end. Everyone's cleared out, raise back to 50-75% again, and repeat.
To go through all 40 stops would be about 35 minutes, plus another 10 minutes to wait and fill up before the reverse side. Altogether each run in one direction nets $130 for 45 minutes, or about $175/hr. Run the bus for an 8-hour day and that's $1,400 a day. I don't know how much gasoline would cost for a bus, but with a higher quality of gas or the larger tank capacity, let's assume it's about $200/day. That's still $1,200 profit every day.
At $1,200 profit a day, it would take 3 weeks to have made back the seed money.
Give it another 3 weeks and that's enough profit to purchase a second bus and hire another driver, which would probably result in only 2 weeks combined (considering a salary is now being paid) to make the profits to purchase another bus. And so on.
In theory, with estimated and probably-wrong numbers, I'm turning a profit in less than a month just by purchasing an old bus and doing what the CTA is supposed to do - transport the citizens of Chicago with authority.
Go ahead and tell me which of my numbers are wrong - it won't make much difference to me. The whole thing is just a mildly-irrational idea anyway.
After all, it's not like I know how to drive - let alone drive a bus. I just thought that the point needed to be made.
Read more!
And yes, it was a #44 bus. Which meant waiting for the next one with the five other people who just got fooled the same way. We all started chatting about how annoying it is when the bus gets ready to leave, pulls into the different area to pick someone else up, and fools everyone else who wants to rush and get on before it leaves but can't find it because it's in the wrong spot.
Another one pulled up about two minutes later, and of course then sat there at the station for ten minutes or so. Luckily, an odd train of thought entered my head when I was talking to one of my regular Bus Ladies (I don't know their names, they're just ladies who often ride the same buses as me) and said, "Well, either way, I'm sure going to miss it come January."
You see, due to idiocy at practically every level of government going up from the city level that's supposed to fund it's damned public transportation, in January we have yet another huge Doomsday planned. They'll be cutting service for over sixty different bus lines. Our #44 is slated for death. And that's when the idea struck me:
How profitable would it be to buy an old CTA bus and run it along one of the deceased routes?
I haven't had time to sit down and do any math yet, so figures will all be estimated and probably way off. But the office is quiet, I'm not yet on the clock, and I'm interested in figuring this out.
Let's say that a reasonable estimated figure to purchase an old bus is $25,000. I'm guessing that new ones are upwards of $70,000 - but these are old, probably outdated models that clunk and have over 150,000 miles or so on them. And yes, I'd pick one that at least runs.
So I pick one of the routes that got shut down and was populated enough to guarantee at least 3/4 capacity at all times (especially with all the people waiting since I run maybe once an hour or so with one damned bus all by myself for the entire route). I can only charge cash, since CTA cards would do me no good, but I'd keep things at the $2/ride mark - even if Doomsday would increase cash fares to like $3. The discount is because it would encourage riders and apologize for not being able to give transfers to the real CTA.
So let's say the average bus can hold, also on average, 40 people (when not crammed in like sardines).
So waiting at the start point, I get between 50-75% capacity before pulling out. That's about 25 people, which is $50. Let's also give a lowball estimate of how many stops are on the route - I'll go with about 40, since I'd pick a small route to start - and assume that a minimum of 2 people on average get on at each stop. I'm guessing most stops would be much more than 2, but with empty stops in-between let's go with 2 for now as an average. That's $4 per stop, which is $80 for the route by the end. Everyone's cleared out, raise back to 50-75% again, and repeat.
To go through all 40 stops would be about 35 minutes, plus another 10 minutes to wait and fill up before the reverse side. Altogether each run in one direction nets $130 for 45 minutes, or about $175/hr. Run the bus for an 8-hour day and that's $1,400 a day. I don't know how much gasoline would cost for a bus, but with a higher quality of gas or the larger tank capacity, let's assume it's about $200/day. That's still $1,200 profit every day.
At $1,200 profit a day, it would take 3 weeks to have made back the seed money.
Give it another 3 weeks and that's enough profit to purchase a second bus and hire another driver, which would probably result in only 2 weeks combined (considering a salary is now being paid) to make the profits to purchase another bus. And so on.
In theory, with estimated and probably-wrong numbers, I'm turning a profit in less than a month just by purchasing an old bus and doing what the CTA is supposed to do - transport the citizens of Chicago with authority.
Go ahead and tell me which of my numbers are wrong - it won't make much difference to me. The whole thing is just a mildly-irrational idea anyway.
After all, it's not like I know how to drive - let alone drive a bus. I just thought that the point needed to be made.
Read more!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Blackwater Steroids
There's a lawsuit going on against Blackwater, this private company serving as security guards in Iraq, where we are still at war. If you read into the article, the lawsuit is about charging the company with war crimes, wrongful death, assault, negligent hiring and emotional distress (to the families of Iraqis killed by Blackwater). Unfortunately, the title and main focal point of the article is the allegation that a quarter of the Blackwater security guards are using steroids.
Really - THAT'S the issue on the table here? Steroid use?
I'm frankly getting a little sick and tired of all the hubbub over steroid usage by people. Even if used for non-medicinal purposes, I don't see why steroid use is getting all of this attention. We've all heard about what it does and the effects of the increased testosterone and muscle growth. So what's the problem here? No seriously, what's the problem??
Their main purpose in Iraq is serving as security guards, protecting American citizens. In a place where there's a war going on. The lead attorney in the case, Susan Burke, says she thinks that "there is a whole corporate culture there that essentially rewards the use of excessive force -- shooting first, asking questions later." Did the dictionary and all my encyclopaedias suddenly change the meanings of "security guards" or "war"? I can't help but remember growing up with the knowledge that security guards use force to keep people and places secure. They shoot first and ask questions later. Otherwise, the things they're protecting get attacked and they get fired. I'm buffaloed as to why the lead attorney is basically saying "there is a whole corporate culture that essentially rewards employees doing their jobs effectively."
Seriously, Blackwater's major claim to fame (other than lawsuits) is that during four years of this War in Iraq, none of their protectees have been killed. That's a 100% success rate. Honestly, how can you argue with a 100% success rate? This is no half-assed "win some, lose some" company you're dealing with - this is a "win all, never lose!" company.
Do you know which security guards DON'T have a 100% success rate? The frickin' Secret Service! Of course, they've been in business a lot longer - but they only have a small handful of protectees at a time.
Am I saying that President Kennedy might not have been shot and killed if there were a few more steroid-using members on the force? Hard to say. Keener eye-muscles might have led to identifying the potential shooter (or shooters, if you're a conspiracy nut) and subsequent beatdown and death of said person(s).
What gets me even more irate is that this is a WAR ZONE, not the motherloving Olympics! While we can penalize a biathlete for using steroids and claim it's unfair towards those idiots who ski and shoot things with their own exercise and training alone (even though we also penalize them for using debilitating drugs like marijuana that gives the others an advantage), why are we penalizing security guards in a war zone? Are the Iraqi troops complaining because it's harder to kill Americans with these guards all buffed up with enhancement drugs?
If there's one guy you want on a 'roid rage, it's the guy with a gun who's protecting your ass from terrorists.
That's certainly who I'd hire if I were an idiot who decided to travel to Iraq in the middle of a war. Wouldn't you?
(The article that sparked this rant)
Read more!
Really - THAT'S the issue on the table here? Steroid use?
I'm frankly getting a little sick and tired of all the hubbub over steroid usage by people. Even if used for non-medicinal purposes, I don't see why steroid use is getting all of this attention. We've all heard about what it does and the effects of the increased testosterone and muscle growth. So what's the problem here? No seriously, what's the problem??
Their main purpose in Iraq is serving as security guards, protecting American citizens. In a place where there's a war going on. The lead attorney in the case, Susan Burke, says she thinks that "there is a whole corporate culture there that essentially rewards the use of excessive force -- shooting first, asking questions later." Did the dictionary and all my encyclopaedias suddenly change the meanings of "security guards" or "war"? I can't help but remember growing up with the knowledge that security guards use force to keep people and places secure. They shoot first and ask questions later. Otherwise, the things they're protecting get attacked and they get fired. I'm buffaloed as to why the lead attorney is basically saying "there is a whole corporate culture that essentially rewards employees doing their jobs effectively."
Seriously, Blackwater's major claim to fame (other than lawsuits) is that during four years of this War in Iraq, none of their protectees have been killed. That's a 100% success rate. Honestly, how can you argue with a 100% success rate? This is no half-assed "win some, lose some" company you're dealing with - this is a "win all, never lose!" company.
Do you know which security guards DON'T have a 100% success rate? The frickin' Secret Service! Of course, they've been in business a lot longer - but they only have a small handful of protectees at a time.
Am I saying that President Kennedy might not have been shot and killed if there were a few more steroid-using members on the force? Hard to say. Keener eye-muscles might have led to identifying the potential shooter (or shooters, if you're a conspiracy nut) and subsequent beatdown and death of said person(s).
What gets me even more irate is that this is a WAR ZONE, not the motherloving Olympics! While we can penalize a biathlete for using steroids and claim it's unfair towards those idiots who ski and shoot things with their own exercise and training alone (even though we also penalize them for using debilitating drugs like marijuana that gives the others an advantage), why are we penalizing security guards in a war zone? Are the Iraqi troops complaining because it's harder to kill Americans with these guards all buffed up with enhancement drugs?
If there's one guy you want on a 'roid rage, it's the guy with a gun who's protecting your ass from terrorists.
That's certainly who I'd hire if I were an idiot who decided to travel to Iraq in the middle of a war. Wouldn't you?
(The article that sparked this rant)
Read more!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Schadenfreude
I'm waiting for my friend to come in to work to find out if she's still sick and miserable. If she is, that generally means good things for me. I know, it's a sick and twisted thing to secretly desire misery on your friends, but we've been noticing a pattern and we're still testing its consistency.
Whenever I'm having a good day, bad things happen to my friends.
Whenever I'm having a bad day, good things happen to my friends.
We're still figuring out if my days control her luck or her days control my luck, but it's a very odd coincidence that we superstitiously feel might not be coincidence at all. I can only see things from my perspective, and vice-versa for her.
All I know is that on the day that I got a promotion/raise, she had a day that was so horrible, she seriously wanted to quit. Then on the day that I wanted to celebrate the event, my friends (plural, so I think I'm affecting them more than they affect me) were totally miserable over something they wanted being sold out and unavailable, and then we got into a minor car accident while trying to get home from the restaurant. Later, on a day where I was feeling particularly stressed out and miserable, she wound up getting a raise. She got to go home on time to celebrate, and I wound up staying two hours late to finish my insane projects.
The whole thing just awkwardly reeks of this notion of "soulmates" - in that two people are connected on some subconscious level. Most people think of soulmates as a positive thing - that both have the same emotions and brain wavelengths and whatnot in direct correlation with each other. I am overjoyed by something, and my soulmate would be equally overjoyed. And so forth.
I think the same thing can exist with negative correlation instead of positive. That instead of luck and emotions and trends being equal, they run opposite one another. I would attempt to coin the term "anti-soulmate", but it's not like it's the opposite of a soulmate. I think the opposite of a soulmate would be a hooker. It's just a different flavor of soulmate, like a flavor of ice cream that you really can't stand or would make you nauseous (think brussel sprouts mixed with squid). You can't deny that it is indeed ice cream, but it serves only to irritate you rather than soothe you with a sweet chilly treat.
In the end, the waiting was pointless. My friend stayed home sick today. Probably feeling miserable, but also possibly enjoying a relaxing day of sleep instead of being awake and miserable.
I'm guessing it's the latter, judging by the insanely stressful and annoying day mine has become... What a mean soulmate! Read more!
Whenever I'm having a good day, bad things happen to my friends.
Whenever I'm having a bad day, good things happen to my friends.
We're still figuring out if my days control her luck or her days control my luck, but it's a very odd coincidence that we superstitiously feel might not be coincidence at all. I can only see things from my perspective, and vice-versa for her.
All I know is that on the day that I got a promotion/raise, she had a day that was so horrible, she seriously wanted to quit. Then on the day that I wanted to celebrate the event, my friends (plural, so I think I'm affecting them more than they affect me) were totally miserable over something they wanted being sold out and unavailable, and then we got into a minor car accident while trying to get home from the restaurant. Later, on a day where I was feeling particularly stressed out and miserable, she wound up getting a raise. She got to go home on time to celebrate, and I wound up staying two hours late to finish my insane projects.
The whole thing just awkwardly reeks of this notion of "soulmates" - in that two people are connected on some subconscious level. Most people think of soulmates as a positive thing - that both have the same emotions and brain wavelengths and whatnot in direct correlation with each other. I am overjoyed by something, and my soulmate would be equally overjoyed. And so forth.
I think the same thing can exist with negative correlation instead of positive. That instead of luck and emotions and trends being equal, they run opposite one another. I would attempt to coin the term "anti-soulmate", but it's not like it's the opposite of a soulmate. I think the opposite of a soulmate would be a hooker. It's just a different flavor of soulmate, like a flavor of ice cream that you really can't stand or would make you nauseous (think brussel sprouts mixed with squid). You can't deny that it is indeed ice cream, but it serves only to irritate you rather than soothe you with a sweet chilly treat.
In the end, the waiting was pointless. My friend stayed home sick today. Probably feeling miserable, but also possibly enjoying a relaxing day of sleep instead of being awake and miserable.
I'm guessing it's the latter, judging by the insanely stressful and annoying day mine has become... What a mean soulmate! Read more!
Monday, November 26, 2007
Diseases
Everyone's probably heard stories about folk who watch Dateline or some other show that features diseases and, due to hypochondria or some other mental connection, decide that they in fact have it. I am NOT one of those folk. However, there's a new disease being talked about on the internet and the news that I believe I'm suffering from.
Phantom Cell Phone.
Now normally I'd clump this up in the category of diseases that we made up, like ADD, to explain some new and disturbing trend that we'd prefer to blame on genetics or fate instead of things like bad parenting. Parents would probably prefer to hear that their son has Attention Deficit Disorder and that's why he won't sit still and do schoolwork or focus on tasks for more than ten minutes at a time, rather than hear that their son won't pay attention to things because they've spoiled him with a lack of physical discipline. I'm pretty sure that the trend of ADD went on the rise just as parents were being told that spanking children is wrong and the whole child abuse thing took over. I'm not saying correlation means causation - I'm just saying it's pretty frickin' coincidental.
This PCP, however, explains a lot and makes actual biological sense. The whole disease is basically that carrying your Blackberry or other cell phone device in your pocket, doing its little vibration thing, over the years becomes like a part of your body. I'm not being zen and calling your phone "an extension of yourself" - I'm saying the brain apparently designates neurons and synapses strictly to that area of leg to specifically pick up on these vibrations. And, just like phantom limb for amputees, these neurons keep firing away even when your phone is off or not even in your pocket.
That little tingle, now being called "phantom buzz", is what drives people like me crazy. What's worse is when your phone is IN your pocket and you THINK it's going off and you check it and there's nothing there. No calls, no messages. Just you looking like an idiot, holding your phone.
My point is that I was feeling this and experiencing these symptoms long before I ever heard there was a new disease made up to explain it. Which makes it more real to me than ADD ever will. And I'm sure people will exclaim that ADD is a real disease and not just made up by drug companies to sell pills that do very little to treat something that already didn't really exist. Maybe their kid is one of the .1% who actually DOES have what would be called ADD and at a serious and real level. I think we should create a new disease for THAT and the REAL sufferers and finally drop this whole ADD loophole for kids who just don't want to pay attention.
I'd continue further, but my phone is ringing.
Oh crap. Never mind.
(Phantom Cell Phone article)
Read more!
Phantom Cell Phone.
Now normally I'd clump this up in the category of diseases that we made up, like ADD, to explain some new and disturbing trend that we'd prefer to blame on genetics or fate instead of things like bad parenting. Parents would probably prefer to hear that their son has Attention Deficit Disorder and that's why he won't sit still and do schoolwork or focus on tasks for more than ten minutes at a time, rather than hear that their son won't pay attention to things because they've spoiled him with a lack of physical discipline. I'm pretty sure that the trend of ADD went on the rise just as parents were being told that spanking children is wrong and the whole child abuse thing took over. I'm not saying correlation means causation - I'm just saying it's pretty frickin' coincidental.
This PCP, however, explains a lot and makes actual biological sense. The whole disease is basically that carrying your Blackberry or other cell phone device in your pocket, doing its little vibration thing, over the years becomes like a part of your body. I'm not being zen and calling your phone "an extension of yourself" - I'm saying the brain apparently designates neurons and synapses strictly to that area of leg to specifically pick up on these vibrations. And, just like phantom limb for amputees, these neurons keep firing away even when your phone is off or not even in your pocket.
That little tingle, now being called "phantom buzz", is what drives people like me crazy. What's worse is when your phone is IN your pocket and you THINK it's going off and you check it and there's nothing there. No calls, no messages. Just you looking like an idiot, holding your phone.
My point is that I was feeling this and experiencing these symptoms long before I ever heard there was a new disease made up to explain it. Which makes it more real to me than ADD ever will. And I'm sure people will exclaim that ADD is a real disease and not just made up by drug companies to sell pills that do very little to treat something that already didn't really exist. Maybe their kid is one of the .1% who actually DOES have what would be called ADD and at a serious and real level. I think we should create a new disease for THAT and the REAL sufferers and finally drop this whole ADD loophole for kids who just don't want to pay attention.
I'd continue further, but my phone is ringing.
Oh crap. Never mind.
(Phantom Cell Phone article)
Read more!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Fewer Illegal Immigrant Mortgages
Yet another story to illustrate the dreadful state our country is in. Not only are we apparently letting illegal immigrants buy homes with mortgages from American banks - we have banks COMPLAINING that less illegal immigrants are turning to them to aid in their continued criminal presence in our country!
This story apparently all starts with the ITIN (Individual Taxpayer Identification Number), invented by the IRS back in 1996. The ITIN was designed so that foreign investors and immigrants (both legal and illegal) could pay taxes. Okay, at this point I'm a little torn that the IRS, a federal institution, would do something that could potentially identify illegal immigrants. Of course, I also know that the IRS, a federal institution, just wants money to come in, and if it means taking some money from illegal immigrants' pockets in the unfortunate duration before they can be arrested and deported, I guess I can't see much harm in that.
The problem started a few years later when banks began accepting those taxpayer numbers for loan applications rather than a social security number. This opened the door for illegal immigrants to apply for loans and buy houses. You can make the argument that banks "only accept applications from those with steady jobs and a proven track record of paying bills on time" - but I'll just argue right back that hiring illegals and renting to them are crimes and these employers and landlords should be punished. Not only are they helping illegal immigrants remain in our country, but they're apparently also responsible for having the loan applications of these criminals approved.
I think that if we can punish landlords for renting to illegal immigrants, we should certainly be able to punish banks for issuing the mortgage loans that similarly allow illegal immigrants to continue breaking the law by being in our country. "It's a little nonsensical for banks to be making loans to people to buy houses they have no legal right to live in. Banks should not be in the business of subverting federal immigration laws," said Ira Mehlman, spokesman for the Federation for American Immigration Reform.
So what other arguments will banks make to justify loaning our legal-citizen monies to criminals?
Illegal immigrants are less likely to make delinquent payments.
Recent figures show ITIN mortgages have a .75 percent delinquency rate -- payments 60 to 90 days late -- according to the National Association of Hispanic Real Estate Professionals. By comparison, 1 percent of payments on prime mortgages are more than 90 days late, according to the Mortgage Bankers Association. Sub-prime mortgages do much worse, with a 9.3 percent delinquency rate.
No offense, but it's hard to trust a study of this nature making this kind of argument if the research is being presented by the National Association of Hispanic Real Estate Professionals. Am I saying they're lying? Of course not. I'm just saying that it raises my eyebrow a little.
I'm glad to read that at least ONE politician is seeing the problem with this system and is doing something about it. Rep. John Doolittle (R-Calif.) introduced a bill earlier this year that would require banks to use Social Security numbers to issue mortgages for a lender's primary home, but it has not gone up for a vote yet. This is certainly legislation I can get behind.
The article takes another turn for the worse in my mind due to yet another example of a reporter with knowledge of an illegal immigrant that results only in a catchy element of a story rather than an arrest and deportation.
Rodrigo -- a resident of Chicago's Southwest Side who declined to use his last name because he fears being deported -- doubts he would take the plunge now. A dozen years after he sneaked across the border from Mexico with little more than a change of clothes and $20, Rodrigo used an ITIN mortgage in 2005 to buy a two-story home. He relished the thrill of signing his closing papers and receiving the keys.
That right there is enough evidence of the crime to warrant an arrest in MY book. So why is Rodrigo probably still illegally living in his ill-gotten house instead of being sent back to Mexico with little more than a change of clothes and $20 as a big fat "Return to Sender"? I honestly don't know. But the reporter had the capability to make that happen, and failed. For now, he proudly shows off his home, which sits on a quiet, tree-lined street. In his daughters' room, painted orange and scattered with stuffed toys, the girls jump on their beds. That means that this reporter has BEEN to the location and could easily lead federal agents to this place and take Rodrigo and send him back to Mexico!
Why isn't this happening???
We all have the power to help enforce our immigration laws. We can all call the hotlines and file the reports with the ICE. We have the power, and it's time we started using it.
ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION IS ILLEGAL.
(The rest of the article)
Read more!
This story apparently all starts with the ITIN (Individual Taxpayer Identification Number), invented by the IRS back in 1996. The ITIN was designed so that foreign investors and immigrants (both legal and illegal) could pay taxes. Okay, at this point I'm a little torn that the IRS, a federal institution, would do something that could potentially identify illegal immigrants. Of course, I also know that the IRS, a federal institution, just wants money to come in, and if it means taking some money from illegal immigrants' pockets in the unfortunate duration before they can be arrested and deported, I guess I can't see much harm in that.
The problem started a few years later when banks began accepting those taxpayer numbers for loan applications rather than a social security number. This opened the door for illegal immigrants to apply for loans and buy houses. You can make the argument that banks "only accept applications from those with steady jobs and a proven track record of paying bills on time" - but I'll just argue right back that hiring illegals and renting to them are crimes and these employers and landlords should be punished. Not only are they helping illegal immigrants remain in our country, but they're apparently also responsible for having the loan applications of these criminals approved.
I think that if we can punish landlords for renting to illegal immigrants, we should certainly be able to punish banks for issuing the mortgage loans that similarly allow illegal immigrants to continue breaking the law by being in our country. "It's a little nonsensical for banks to be making loans to people to buy houses they have no legal right to live in. Banks should not be in the business of subverting federal immigration laws," said Ira Mehlman, spokesman for the Federation for American Immigration Reform.
So what other arguments will banks make to justify loaning our legal-citizen monies to criminals?
Illegal immigrants are less likely to make delinquent payments.
Recent figures show ITIN mortgages have a .75 percent delinquency rate -- payments 60 to 90 days late -- according to the National Association of Hispanic Real Estate Professionals. By comparison, 1 percent of payments on prime mortgages are more than 90 days late, according to the Mortgage Bankers Association. Sub-prime mortgages do much worse, with a 9.3 percent delinquency rate.
No offense, but it's hard to trust a study of this nature making this kind of argument if the research is being presented by the National Association of Hispanic Real Estate Professionals. Am I saying they're lying? Of course not. I'm just saying that it raises my eyebrow a little.
I'm glad to read that at least ONE politician is seeing the problem with this system and is doing something about it. Rep. John Doolittle (R-Calif.) introduced a bill earlier this year that would require banks to use Social Security numbers to issue mortgages for a lender's primary home, but it has not gone up for a vote yet. This is certainly legislation I can get behind.
The article takes another turn for the worse in my mind due to yet another example of a reporter with knowledge of an illegal immigrant that results only in a catchy element of a story rather than an arrest and deportation.
Rodrigo -- a resident of Chicago's Southwest Side who declined to use his last name because he fears being deported -- doubts he would take the plunge now. A dozen years after he sneaked across the border from Mexico with little more than a change of clothes and $20, Rodrigo used an ITIN mortgage in 2005 to buy a two-story home. He relished the thrill of signing his closing papers and receiving the keys.
That right there is enough evidence of the crime to warrant an arrest in MY book. So why is Rodrigo probably still illegally living in his ill-gotten house instead of being sent back to Mexico with little more than a change of clothes and $20 as a big fat "Return to Sender"? I honestly don't know. But the reporter had the capability to make that happen, and failed. For now, he proudly shows off his home, which sits on a quiet, tree-lined street. In his daughters' room, painted orange and scattered with stuffed toys, the girls jump on their beds. That means that this reporter has BEEN to the location and could easily lead federal agents to this place and take Rodrigo and send him back to Mexico!
Why isn't this happening???
We all have the power to help enforce our immigration laws. We can all call the hotlines and file the reports with the ICE. We have the power, and it's time we started using it.
ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION IS ILLEGAL.
(The rest of the article)
Read more!
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Lost? Ask the Gas Pump!
This is a very interesting new technology that will be made available throughout the country starting next month. Rather, the technology itself isn't very new, but the placement and application of it is quite remarkable. It's one that makes you stop and think, "Why hasn't anyone done this before?"
Google Maps will soon be located on gas pumps. You can get directions to landmarks, hotels, restaurants or hospitals. You can even print out those directions before heading back out on your way - now sure of where you're going and how you're going to get there.
The pumps, made by Gilbarco Veeder-Root, will include an Internet connection. The Google Map feature will be available (in color!) on a small screen located on the pump. So far, the technology being used is simply a scrolling menu through various categories and choosing pre-selected destinations. Think of it more as a very-helpful travel guide of sorts. In the future, Gilbarco Veeder-Root hopes to include the ability to enter in an address to get directions, making the feature genuinely invaluable. For now, if you're lost on your way to the party, you'd better hope you know of a local landmark located nearby and hope for the best.
This is mostly geared towards travelers and road-trippers who might be looking for a place to crash for the night, grab a bite to eat, find the Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota or possibly just to reattach a severed thumb. I'm hoping that "local landmarks" includes the nearest highway - which is what my mind envisions a lot of lost vacationers would want to know, and would be more likely to ask a gas pump than a human being.
Which brings me to the question: Is this un-manly?
After all, we've all grown up with the supposedly-antiquated notion that "real men don't pull over and ask for directions" - admitting that you are lost is like admitting defeat in the great game of Manliness. So does this count? Is the fact that you're not pulling over specifically for directions (since you're probably in need of gas anyway with your low-mileage manly vehicle), and it's not like you're ASKING for directions. That implies an element of speech, and very loosely implies you're expecting a verbal response which would mean you're asking a human. Will the Man Code be violated if, while filling up the Manmobile, you test out some new technology by verifying the correct route to your hotel (which you of course already know, but you want to see if the GAS PUMP knows as well) and maybe printing out the results as proof that you were indeed right about the route that needs to be taken and you weren't lost after all?
Let me know what you think about the manliness of pump-based mapping and whether or not it breaks the Man Code about pulling over to ask for directions.
And don't forget to vote at the top of this page, if you like what you've been reading here at my BlogSpot.
(The article about the 3,500 advanced gas pumps coming out next month)
Read more!
Google Maps will soon be located on gas pumps. You can get directions to landmarks, hotels, restaurants or hospitals. You can even print out those directions before heading back out on your way - now sure of where you're going and how you're going to get there.
The pumps, made by Gilbarco Veeder-Root, will include an Internet connection. The Google Map feature will be available (in color!) on a small screen located on the pump. So far, the technology being used is simply a scrolling menu through various categories and choosing pre-selected destinations. Think of it more as a very-helpful travel guide of sorts. In the future, Gilbarco Veeder-Root hopes to include the ability to enter in an address to get directions, making the feature genuinely invaluable. For now, if you're lost on your way to the party, you'd better hope you know of a local landmark located nearby and hope for the best.
This is mostly geared towards travelers and road-trippers who might be looking for a place to crash for the night, grab a bite to eat, find the Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota or possibly just to reattach a severed thumb. I'm hoping that "local landmarks" includes the nearest highway - which is what my mind envisions a lot of lost vacationers would want to know, and would be more likely to ask a gas pump than a human being.
Which brings me to the question: Is this un-manly?
After all, we've all grown up with the supposedly-antiquated notion that "real men don't pull over and ask for directions" - admitting that you are lost is like admitting defeat in the great game of Manliness. So does this count? Is the fact that you're not pulling over specifically for directions (since you're probably in need of gas anyway with your low-mileage manly vehicle), and it's not like you're ASKING for directions. That implies an element of speech, and very loosely implies you're expecting a verbal response which would mean you're asking a human. Will the Man Code be violated if, while filling up the Manmobile, you test out some new technology by verifying the correct route to your hotel (which you of course already know, but you want to see if the GAS PUMP knows as well) and maybe printing out the results as proof that you were indeed right about the route that needs to be taken and you weren't lost after all?
Let me know what you think about the manliness of pump-based mapping and whether or not it breaks the Man Code about pulling over to ask for directions.
And don't forget to vote at the top of this page, if you like what you've been reading here at my BlogSpot.
(The article about the 3,500 advanced gas pumps coming out next month)
Read more!
Monday, November 05, 2007
Letter to RedEye: Double Dose!
It's been a while since I wrote anything to the RedEye, and longer still since they've published anything I've sent. So this morning, after a large bit of network trouble here at the office, I managed to shoot them a double-dose of ranting. The first letter is in response to an article about the Boomerang Generation being the new wave - students returning home from college to mooch off their parents.
Boomerang Generation: New Ways to Fail
The whole notion of the Boomerang Generation is just another brick in the wall of coddling children separating them from the real world to which they should be properly contributing. I read in a study that humans are the most immature animals on the planet - in the sense that it takes our young nineteen years on average until they are able to contribute enough back to the society that has been supporting it through childhood. Think about that for a second - on average, it takes our children nineteen years until they can give back more to society than they are taking and become full-fledged adults.
And now we're letting them stay sheltered even more? Where is the outcry of older generations to put these whippersnappers in their place with stories of how far they'd advanced "by your age" and been married with a job and supporting two kids of their own and whatnot? "Five miles uphill both ways in the snow" and so forth! I'm all for the notion of letting children be children, but at some point, you have to cut the umbilical cord - and keep it cut. Maybe this isn't about children being a boomerang generation, but about parents not coping with their Empty Nest Syndrome.
My parents had the right idea, strangely enough. Two days after I moved to college, before I'd even finished unpacking my things, my parents threw out my bed back home. The message was clear: "The cord is cut. You're in the real world now." I love them for doing that, because I have my own place, my own job, my own bills and maybe someday my own family as well.
Aaron Samuels, 24, Bridgeport
This second letter is in response to their article about how people really can't trust the CTA, who just got bailed out yet again, meaning no Doomsday Plan needs to be enacted until . . . oh, a few more weeks. And the Doomsday Scare will resume anew. So here's my response, which I've been thinking about for WEEKS.
Lack of Trust for the CTA
My problem with the CTA isn't about the constant whining for more financial support and then further whining upon receiving "not enough" financial support. My problem is about the lack of follow-through. Here's a random analogy that may or may not shed light on my concerns:
A pie shop sells apple pies. But they realize their apple stock is running low and they won't be getting any deliveries in for a while. Frantically, they start discussing pears. They invest money on methods to quickly obtain pears, debate over the price difference, research recipes for pear pies, perform taste tests and do market research to see if people can handle pear pies, advertising new pear pies due to lack of apples, and after an entire month of this nonsense - a truckload of apples comes in and apple piemaking resumes and nobody does anything about pears until a few weeks later when the apples are running low again.
I'd just like to know how much money went into purchasing ad space to warn people about the Doomsday plan, how much went into planning the Doomsday plan out in the first place, how much was spent on wages for people handing out fliers about Doomsday or putting up notices in stations and on buses instead of their regular jobs and how much was spent on all of the pamphlets and fliers and signs themselves. The worst part is that even though they got their money, that means all of the money spent warning about Doomsday was a waste because the plan was never used and the money just creates a further drain that speeds up the next Doomsday when it all repeats.
At some point, you just have to DEMAND that they have a little follow-through, so maybe they can finally fix the problem and stop wasting all this extra money in the meantime. I hate the thought of paying extra money, but I hate the thought of WASTING money a whole lot more.
Aaron Samuels, 24, Bridgeport
Actually, I just got an e-mail back from Kyla at Going Public in response to my CTA letter!
Hi Aaron:
Good points, and spoken like someone with a true business mind. Good analogy. I will try and get this into reader letters, but we may have to trim a bit for space. Thanks so much, and have a great rest of the week!
Best,
Kyra
So it's not only shocking to get a reply TEN MINUTES after I sent these off, but such a positive one at that! I was flabbergasted to read "Good analogy." Seriously. I chuckled at the notion that I have a true business mind. Strange how everyone mistakes "common sense" for a "good business mind".
Well, if they print anything, I'll let you know (and make it bold here)! Read more!
Boomerang Generation: New Ways to Fail
The whole notion of the Boomerang Generation is just another brick in the wall of coddling children separating them from the real world to which they should be properly contributing. I read in a study that humans are the most immature animals on the planet - in the sense that it takes our young nineteen years on average until they are able to contribute enough back to the society that has been supporting it through childhood. Think about that for a second - on average, it takes our children nineteen years until they can give back more to society than they are taking and become full-fledged adults.
And now we're letting them stay sheltered even more? Where is the outcry of older generations to put these whippersnappers in their place with stories of how far they'd advanced "by your age" and been married with a job and supporting two kids of their own and whatnot? "Five miles uphill both ways in the snow" and so forth! I'm all for the notion of letting children be children, but at some point, you have to cut the umbilical cord - and keep it cut. Maybe this isn't about children being a boomerang generation, but about parents not coping with their Empty Nest Syndrome.
My parents had the right idea, strangely enough. Two days after I moved to college, before I'd even finished unpacking my things, my parents threw out my bed back home. The message was clear: "The cord is cut. You're in the real world now." I love them for doing that, because I have my own place, my own job, my own bills and maybe someday my own family as well.
Aaron Samuels, 24, Bridgeport
This second letter is in response to their article about how people really can't trust the CTA, who just got bailed out yet again, meaning no Doomsday Plan needs to be enacted until . . . oh, a few more weeks. And the Doomsday Scare will resume anew. So here's my response, which I've been thinking about for WEEKS.
Lack of Trust for the CTA
My problem with the CTA isn't about the constant whining for more financial support and then further whining upon receiving "not enough" financial support. My problem is about the lack of follow-through. Here's a random analogy that may or may not shed light on my concerns:
A pie shop sells apple pies. But they realize their apple stock is running low and they won't be getting any deliveries in for a while. Frantically, they start discussing pears. They invest money on methods to quickly obtain pears, debate over the price difference, research recipes for pear pies, perform taste tests and do market research to see if people can handle pear pies, advertising new pear pies due to lack of apples, and after an entire month of this nonsense - a truckload of apples comes in and apple piemaking resumes and nobody does anything about pears until a few weeks later when the apples are running low again.
I'd just like to know how much money went into purchasing ad space to warn people about the Doomsday plan, how much went into planning the Doomsday plan out in the first place, how much was spent on wages for people handing out fliers about Doomsday or putting up notices in stations and on buses instead of their regular jobs and how much was spent on all of the pamphlets and fliers and signs themselves. The worst part is that even though they got their money, that means all of the money spent warning about Doomsday was a waste because the plan was never used and the money just creates a further drain that speeds up the next Doomsday when it all repeats.
At some point, you just have to DEMAND that they have a little follow-through, so maybe they can finally fix the problem and stop wasting all this extra money in the meantime. I hate the thought of paying extra money, but I hate the thought of WASTING money a whole lot more.
Aaron Samuels, 24, Bridgeport
Actually, I just got an e-mail back from Kyla at Going Public in response to my CTA letter!
Hi Aaron:
Good points, and spoken like someone with a true business mind. Good analogy. I will try and get this into reader letters, but we may have to trim a bit for space. Thanks so much, and have a great rest of the week!
Best,
Kyra
So it's not only shocking to get a reply TEN MINUTES after I sent these off, but such a positive one at that! I was flabbergasted to read "Good analogy." Seriously. I chuckled at the notion that I have a true business mind. Strange how everyone mistakes "common sense" for a "good business mind".
Well, if they print anything, I'll let you know (and make it bold here)! Read more!
Friday, November 02, 2007
NaNoWriMo - Day 1
This year may not be my year either.
Last year, I was only part-time and I still couldn't manage the drive to get much further than 3,000 words or so. The year before that I was unemployed and was pretty much using copy/paste on old IM conversations from my past and STILL couldn't make an honest 50,000 by the end of the month. This year - I'm a full-time salaried employee who often stays later than he should.
It doesn't bode well.
Anyway, here's pretty much what I have done on Day 1 - though it's just a modified version of an old beginning to something that never even made it to a middle.
A Day in the Rut of AaronBSam (Working Title)
Phase 1
It's always between 4 and 5am that my day truly starts. There's always something rousing me from sleep, peaceful or otherwise - forcing me to verify that it is indeed not time to get out of bed, but rather to do more tossing and turning as the minutes tick by as the hour of true awakening draws nearer. At some point, sleep prevails, which is followed seemingly instantly by the sound of droning. My radio is constantly set on a gospel station - which usually results in waking up to angry men yelling about how I'll be going to hell or yelling about how I should believe in Jesus. It's not something you can easily sleep through. Also, the volume is turned up rather high - to ensure that it’s something not easily slept through.
But it will always be something you can easily smack with your hand as you fumble for a snooze button.
5:30am; 5:37am; 5:44am; sometimes it even reaches 5:51am. I love a clock-radio that snoozes in 7-minute intervals. While most of the world enjoys the finite nature of waking up to an alarm set to the 5-minute or 10-minute break, I think there’s something to be said for odd times. That’s too much of a “beginning” for me, and it’s like giving myself the option of when I choose to start my day. If that were the case, my answer would almost always be “later.” That is why I enjoy waking up at an odd time to a morning that feels as though it is already in progress. I also love having a clock that's set 12 minutes fast - even though the fact that I always look at it and re-calculate the correct time kind of defeats the purpose. You're supposed to set a timepiece fast so you'll see it, think it's the correct time, and then arrive at places early (or less late) because you think it's later than it actually is. With me and my clock, it's fast and I always recalculate to compensate. But in that recalculation, I'm THINKING and AWARE of the time, which is reminder enough to not be late.
I don't need cheap tricks and lies - I just need constant honest reminders.
Once awake, my day almost begins. I get out of bed, put on my Lazy Clothes (an official outfit worn at home, always when alone, where nobody will care about my fashion/comfort except myself), and select an outfit for the day. I lay them out in the living room on a chair, and apply fabric freshener, whether it's necessary or not. I do laundry much more often than I used to - once every week or every other week - but old habits die hard, and change is almost always a bad thing. Once they're placed on the chair and have been given exactly five sprays with the fabric freshener, I head back to the bedroom, remove the Lazy Clothes once more, and turn on an episode of downloaded TV while I sit in bed and watch. When our area finally had Comcast service offered to us, I’m sure that a lot of families got cable TV and the cable high-speed internet. I figured, “Why pay for both when the internet gives me access to the cable TV shows and more?” So thanks to some choice downloading, I’m more addicted to the TV than ever. Downloaded shows don’t have commercials, either. Between 6:12am and 6:22am on the clock (so between 6am and 6:10am), I pause whatever I'm watching and take my shower.
That's about 15 minutes on average, depending on whether or not I'm using conditioner.
Some days, I find myself wishing that I were able to take time and relax and enjoy myself during periods like shower-time. It’s not about my schedule – I can alter that whenever I want in order to get the same result of an end-time – it’s about my lack of ability to really relax. These are some of the thoughts running through my head while in the shower – often leading to the lack of relaxation in and of itself. I emerge from the shower and towel off, and then put on my Lazy Clothes once more to retreat back to the bedroom to finish air-drying while watching the rest of the show. Rather, it’s not that I’m air-drying, I’m just wearing a different form of a towel. At 6:32am on the clock (6:20am real time), I shuffle off to the living room and retrieve my clothes for the day, then dress while still watching downloaded TV. I’ve got the art of finishing a show as I head out the door down to a science. I would probably call it the science of teeveetimendology. At 6:35am on the computer clock (which varies between 3 and 5 minutes fast, depending on how much I’ve given it to do in the past few days) I grab my daily items out of my Bucket (where all necessary items should go - you never lose things if you constantly keep them in one place and one place alone) and pocket them. I’m a firm believer in the Bucket system, and advocate it to friends, who remind me that I am a socially-inept nerd. I remind them that the term “nerd” practically by definition implies that I’m socially-inept. Removal of my 7-Day CTA pass from the wallet takes place as I put both in the left pocket. My ID Badge, keys and cell phone go in the right pocket. I go and open the door to see the temperature and decide whether to wear my sweatshirt, coat, or neither. Today it seems to be about 45-degrees outside, so I grab my sweatshirt and load those pockets. Digital camera goes in the left pocket (if it’s not still lurking there) and my iPod goes in the right pocket. Lastly, I do a final check. Left pocket, right pocket. I go to my computer, log off of Yahoo, set my away message on AIM, and then set the thermostat to its lowest point (no sense in heating an empty apartment). On sweatshirt/coat days, I check the status of my pocket paper towel to see if it needs replacing. You wouldn't believe how many times a day a well-timed nose-blow will improve your breathing situation.
Head out the door and lock it, then off to the bus stop.
(To be continued.) Read more!
Last year, I was only part-time and I still couldn't manage the drive to get much further than 3,000 words or so. The year before that I was unemployed and was pretty much using copy/paste on old IM conversations from my past and STILL couldn't make an honest 50,000 by the end of the month. This year - I'm a full-time salaried employee who often stays later than he should.
It doesn't bode well.
Anyway, here's pretty much what I have done on Day 1 - though it's just a modified version of an old beginning to something that never even made it to a middle.
A Day in the Rut of AaronBSam (Working Title)
Phase 1
It's always between 4 and 5am that my day truly starts. There's always something rousing me from sleep, peaceful or otherwise - forcing me to verify that it is indeed not time to get out of bed, but rather to do more tossing and turning as the minutes tick by as the hour of true awakening draws nearer. At some point, sleep prevails, which is followed seemingly instantly by the sound of droning. My radio is constantly set on a gospel station - which usually results in waking up to angry men yelling about how I'll be going to hell or yelling about how I should believe in Jesus. It's not something you can easily sleep through. Also, the volume is turned up rather high - to ensure that it’s something not easily slept through.
But it will always be something you can easily smack with your hand as you fumble for a snooze button.
5:30am; 5:37am; 5:44am; sometimes it even reaches 5:51am. I love a clock-radio that snoozes in 7-minute intervals. While most of the world enjoys the finite nature of waking up to an alarm set to the 5-minute or 10-minute break, I think there’s something to be said for odd times. That’s too much of a “beginning” for me, and it’s like giving myself the option of when I choose to start my day. If that were the case, my answer would almost always be “later.” That is why I enjoy waking up at an odd time to a morning that feels as though it is already in progress. I also love having a clock that's set 12 minutes fast - even though the fact that I always look at it and re-calculate the correct time kind of defeats the purpose. You're supposed to set a timepiece fast so you'll see it, think it's the correct time, and then arrive at places early (or less late) because you think it's later than it actually is. With me and my clock, it's fast and I always recalculate to compensate. But in that recalculation, I'm THINKING and AWARE of the time, which is reminder enough to not be late.
I don't need cheap tricks and lies - I just need constant honest reminders.
Once awake, my day almost begins. I get out of bed, put on my Lazy Clothes (an official outfit worn at home, always when alone, where nobody will care about my fashion/comfort except myself), and select an outfit for the day. I lay them out in the living room on a chair, and apply fabric freshener, whether it's necessary or not. I do laundry much more often than I used to - once every week or every other week - but old habits die hard, and change is almost always a bad thing. Once they're placed on the chair and have been given exactly five sprays with the fabric freshener, I head back to the bedroom, remove the Lazy Clothes once more, and turn on an episode of downloaded TV while I sit in bed and watch. When our area finally had Comcast service offered to us, I’m sure that a lot of families got cable TV and the cable high-speed internet. I figured, “Why pay for both when the internet gives me access to the cable TV shows and more?” So thanks to some choice downloading, I’m more addicted to the TV than ever. Downloaded shows don’t have commercials, either. Between 6:12am and 6:22am on the clock (so between 6am and 6:10am), I pause whatever I'm watching and take my shower.
That's about 15 minutes on average, depending on whether or not I'm using conditioner.
Some days, I find myself wishing that I were able to take time and relax and enjoy myself during periods like shower-time. It’s not about my schedule – I can alter that whenever I want in order to get the same result of an end-time – it’s about my lack of ability to really relax. These are some of the thoughts running through my head while in the shower – often leading to the lack of relaxation in and of itself. I emerge from the shower and towel off, and then put on my Lazy Clothes once more to retreat back to the bedroom to finish air-drying while watching the rest of the show. Rather, it’s not that I’m air-drying, I’m just wearing a different form of a towel. At 6:32am on the clock (6:20am real time), I shuffle off to the living room and retrieve my clothes for the day, then dress while still watching downloaded TV. I’ve got the art of finishing a show as I head out the door down to a science. I would probably call it the science of teeveetimendology. At 6:35am on the computer clock (which varies between 3 and 5 minutes fast, depending on how much I’ve given it to do in the past few days) I grab my daily items out of my Bucket (where all necessary items should go - you never lose things if you constantly keep them in one place and one place alone) and pocket them. I’m a firm believer in the Bucket system, and advocate it to friends, who remind me that I am a socially-inept nerd. I remind them that the term “nerd” practically by definition implies that I’m socially-inept. Removal of my 7-Day CTA pass from the wallet takes place as I put both in the left pocket. My ID Badge, keys and cell phone go in the right pocket. I go and open the door to see the temperature and decide whether to wear my sweatshirt, coat, or neither. Today it seems to be about 45-degrees outside, so I grab my sweatshirt and load those pockets. Digital camera goes in the left pocket (if it’s not still lurking there) and my iPod goes in the right pocket. Lastly, I do a final check. Left pocket, right pocket. I go to my computer, log off of Yahoo, set my away message on AIM, and then set the thermostat to its lowest point (no sense in heating an empty apartment). On sweatshirt/coat days, I check the status of my pocket paper towel to see if it needs replacing. You wouldn't believe how many times a day a well-timed nose-blow will improve your breathing situation.
Head out the door and lock it, then off to the bus stop.
(To be continued.) Read more!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Trunk-or-Treat?
Taking "trick-or-treating" to the next level (or rather just a different level), a new phenomenon has been on the rise, called "trunk-or-treating". You may have heard something about it in the human interest section of the news, or maybe have even participated in it. The question mostly being asked is, "What do you think about trunk-or-treating?" Frankly, I'm torn.
It's a good idea, in theory, but like all things that are good in theory, I'm not willing to trust it further than I can throw it. And since it's virtually impossible to throw an abstract concept, I obviously don't trust it very much.
In "trick-or-treating", children go from door to door in their neighborhood, knocking on the doors and positing the choice of dishing out treats or possibly getting tricked. The homeowner, usually preferring not to be tricked later in the night, doles out candy bars that are admittedly NOT a "fun size" - and the process continues down the street. In fact, it usually continues until someone passes out (from sleep deprivation or diabetic shock) or the haul is too large to physically move and the children must be picked up - preferably with some kind of crane or forklift.
In "trunk-or-treating", the rules change. Instead of lying in wait at the door of their homes, the candy offerings are poured into the trunk of the car and all of the cars meet in one spot for the neighborhood. Then children come to this parking lot candy buffet and visit all of the trunks. That's it.
Again, I am completely torn on this issue. The side of me that loves the idea is the child inside of me, who is currently cackling at the prospect of a "parking lot candy buffet". The side of me that is most against it is the adult inside of me, who is among the population deemed "too old" to be wandering about town in a disguise in attempts to not have to pay for candy, but rather has to pay for candy that will be doled out to your snot-nosed offspring. For him, the notion of making it EASIER for children to find my candy and eat it is one that I am not on board with at all.
Cue the "in my day" speech, possibly involving walking five miles uphill (both ways) just for one of those horrible white baggies of doorstop-kin marshmallows that tasted as bad as every other sense warned you about them.
Now that the demons in me have subsided, I will admit that it's not TOTALLY a horrible idea. I can see that for rural towns, where visiting four houses might actually entail walking five miles, a chance for everyone to get together in one place and have a celebration for the holiday and have the chance to have your kids actually get some candy - that sounds like an acceptable idea. But again, good in theory rarely means it's good in practice.
My concern is that most times you hear about these trunk-or-treat parties/events, they're taking place at CHURCHES. Not only that, but in the same sentence you'll often hear SOMETHING religious or with a religious theme, or even just the words "Veggie Tales". My concern is that the church is trying to steal away this holiday! To the religious, anything that promotes the slightest bit of happiness in relation to anything non-Jesus (be it a witch, zombie, or Thomas the Tank Engine) is something that must be stopped or captured and then brainwashed into oblivion. Mixing churches with Hallowe'en is like trying to have your bachelor's party at your grandmother's house - with her in it.
My other concern is the creepy tone set by the words themselves. With "trick-or-treat", you know what the two options are. "Give me a treat, or I will commit some kind of trick on you." With this new "trunk-or-treat" concept, what's at stake? Are they going to lock children in a trunk when they run out of candy? Just from a language standpoint, it's confusing and admittedly creepy-sounding.
Also, what are childless male adults supposed to do? We already get enough guff from society as a whole if we even take the slightest interest in anything related to children. Something tells me that if parents knew beforehand which houses on a block were inhabited by single male adults without children, they would specifically wanr their children to avoid those houses. Nevermind the fact that the intentions of my ilk are just to hand out candy to children - we're already seen as "predators" and "sociopaths" and "red flags" to parents. Something tells me that an adult male with no children, like myself, would get the crap beat out of him for showing up in a parking lot with a trunkload of candy - even if everything took place in plain sight of the parents.
What it all boils down to is that I'm really not all that into the trunk-or-treating concept. I think it's dangerous to the holiday itself, in spirit and in tradition. Would I recommend it to rural areas? Sure. Nothing makes the night easier for parents and children alike than meeting up, getting it all over with and doing minimal walking. Would I recommend it to children? Sure. Nothing beats a 500-foot walk in a parking lot to secure a huge sugar haul instead of the 5-mile-uphill-in-the-snow-both-ways walks of my day. Would I recommend it to true fans of Hallowe'en, who know the history of the day itself (including why I always spell it with an apostrophe) and live to decorate and spook and share the true experiences of this delightfully-devilish nighttime adventure? Not a chance.
And in return for an offering of Boo Berry, I'd gladly share some of my tales...
(The trunk-or-treating "ritual")
Read more!
It's a good idea, in theory, but like all things that are good in theory, I'm not willing to trust it further than I can throw it. And since it's virtually impossible to throw an abstract concept, I obviously don't trust it very much.
In "trick-or-treating", children go from door to door in their neighborhood, knocking on the doors and positing the choice of dishing out treats or possibly getting tricked. The homeowner, usually preferring not to be tricked later in the night, doles out candy bars that are admittedly NOT a "fun size" - and the process continues down the street. In fact, it usually continues until someone passes out (from sleep deprivation or diabetic shock) or the haul is too large to physically move and the children must be picked up - preferably with some kind of crane or forklift.
In "trunk-or-treating", the rules change. Instead of lying in wait at the door of their homes, the candy offerings are poured into the trunk of the car and all of the cars meet in one spot for the neighborhood. Then children come to this parking lot candy buffet and visit all of the trunks. That's it.
Again, I am completely torn on this issue. The side of me that loves the idea is the child inside of me, who is currently cackling at the prospect of a "parking lot candy buffet". The side of me that is most against it is the adult inside of me, who is among the population deemed "too old" to be wandering about town in a disguise in attempts to not have to pay for candy, but rather has to pay for candy that will be doled out to your snot-nosed offspring. For him, the notion of making it EASIER for children to find my candy and eat it is one that I am not on board with at all.
Cue the "in my day" speech, possibly involving walking five miles uphill (both ways) just for one of those horrible white baggies of doorstop-kin marshmallows that tasted as bad as every other sense warned you about them.
Now that the demons in me have subsided, I will admit that it's not TOTALLY a horrible idea. I can see that for rural towns, where visiting four houses might actually entail walking five miles, a chance for everyone to get together in one place and have a celebration for the holiday and have the chance to have your kids actually get some candy - that sounds like an acceptable idea. But again, good in theory rarely means it's good in practice.
My concern is that most times you hear about these trunk-or-treat parties/events, they're taking place at CHURCHES. Not only that, but in the same sentence you'll often hear SOMETHING religious or with a religious theme, or even just the words "Veggie Tales". My concern is that the church is trying to steal away this holiday! To the religious, anything that promotes the slightest bit of happiness in relation to anything non-Jesus (be it a witch, zombie, or Thomas the Tank Engine) is something that must be stopped or captured and then brainwashed into oblivion. Mixing churches with Hallowe'en is like trying to have your bachelor's party at your grandmother's house - with her in it.
My other concern is the creepy tone set by the words themselves. With "trick-or-treat", you know what the two options are. "Give me a treat, or I will commit some kind of trick on you." With this new "trunk-or-treat" concept, what's at stake? Are they going to lock children in a trunk when they run out of candy? Just from a language standpoint, it's confusing and admittedly creepy-sounding.
Also, what are childless male adults supposed to do? We already get enough guff from society as a whole if we even take the slightest interest in anything related to children. Something tells me that if parents knew beforehand which houses on a block were inhabited by single male adults without children, they would specifically wanr their children to avoid those houses. Nevermind the fact that the intentions of my ilk are just to hand out candy to children - we're already seen as "predators" and "sociopaths" and "red flags" to parents. Something tells me that an adult male with no children, like myself, would get the crap beat out of him for showing up in a parking lot with a trunkload of candy - even if everything took place in plain sight of the parents.
What it all boils down to is that I'm really not all that into the trunk-or-treating concept. I think it's dangerous to the holiday itself, in spirit and in tradition. Would I recommend it to rural areas? Sure. Nothing makes the night easier for parents and children alike than meeting up, getting it all over with and doing minimal walking. Would I recommend it to children? Sure. Nothing beats a 500-foot walk in a parking lot to secure a huge sugar haul instead of the 5-mile-uphill-in-the-snow-both-ways walks of my day. Would I recommend it to true fans of Hallowe'en, who know the history of the day itself (including why I always spell it with an apostrophe) and live to decorate and spook and share the true experiences of this delightfully-devilish nighttime adventure? Not a chance.
And in return for an offering of Boo Berry, I'd gladly share some of my tales...
(The trunk-or-treating "ritual")
Read more!
Friday, October 26, 2007
Letter to RedEye: Nas and the N-Word
It's been a while, so I decided to respond to one of today's RedEye's reader response boxes. The article was about some rapper named Nas who decided his next album's title was going to be "NIGGER". This has, obviously, turned heads and raised eyebrows and [verb]ed many [other body part]s. So the question was whether or not this was an acceptable move to make. After all, the rapper is just making a statement that just because the NAACP holds a ceremonial burial for a word, that doesn't mean it's dead. Not by a long shot. He sees it as empowering. Many kind of see it as nothing but hateful and/or stupid.
Here's my response:
Nas has every right to use that word as the title of his album. Words are just ways we convey ideas, and thankfully we can't control people's ideas the way that we seem to be attempting to control people's words. Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to this "Freedom of Speech" concept I learned about all throughout my education. You can't just banish or bury a word because you don't like the ideas it's conveying (whether or not it's conveying that exact idea you dislike). I still recall hearing that when they tried to banish one form of that word, people started replacing it with "ninja" instead. Are you going to banish that word and all its history and culture just because someone used it to possibly convey an idea of racism?
Frankly, I'm more upset over everyone hiding behind the term "N-word" instead of just saying it. Didn't Harry Potter just spend seven years of his fictional life trying to teach us that saying "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" only increased Voldemort's power over people? So why is it that nobody's allowed to use "That-Which-Must-Not-Be-Spelled", even if only to discuss it sensibly? We need to stop fighting the tool of lanugage and start fighting the real culprits - the ideas of racism and hatred that create the need for these words to be expressed. In the end though, I'd rather have people using words to express these ideas than actions.
Oh, and before you call me a hypocrite for saying "N-word" - I'm pretty sure this wouldn't get printed if I spelled it out just to make the point.
Aaron Samuels, 24, Bridgeport
As always, I'll keep you all informed if it gets printed. I doubt it, but it's worth trying.
Besides, I just wanted to get something new printed with my age now as 24... Read more!
Here's my response:
Nas has every right to use that word as the title of his album. Words are just ways we convey ideas, and thankfully we can't control people's ideas the way that we seem to be attempting to control people's words. Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to this "Freedom of Speech" concept I learned about all throughout my education. You can't just banish or bury a word because you don't like the ideas it's conveying (whether or not it's conveying that exact idea you dislike). I still recall hearing that when they tried to banish one form of that word, people started replacing it with "ninja" instead. Are you going to banish that word and all its history and culture just because someone used it to possibly convey an idea of racism?
Frankly, I'm more upset over everyone hiding behind the term "N-word" instead of just saying it. Didn't Harry Potter just spend seven years of his fictional life trying to teach us that saying "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" only increased Voldemort's power over people? So why is it that nobody's allowed to use "That-Which-Must-Not-Be-Spelled", even if only to discuss it sensibly? We need to stop fighting the tool of lanugage and start fighting the real culprits - the ideas of racism and hatred that create the need for these words to be expressed. In the end though, I'd rather have people using words to express these ideas than actions.
Oh, and before you call me a hypocrite for saying "N-word" - I'm pretty sure this wouldn't get printed if I spelled it out just to make the point.
Aaron Samuels, 24, Bridgeport
As always, I'll keep you all informed if it gets printed. I doubt it, but it's worth trying.
Besides, I just wanted to get something new printed with my age now as 24... Read more!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Birthday Musings!
I know, this has absolutely nothing to do with anti-PETA slogans or illegal immigration debate (if you can call one man shouting and fuming about something one-sidedly a "debate") - but I took a day off from writing blogs (on purpose, unlike the days where I simply forget or have no time) and wanted to share some information about my birthday.
Yes, it was my "golden birthday" - the birthday where the age you are turning is the day in the month of your birthdate.
So since it was October 24th - it's pretty obvious how old I am today.
Here's some information on this day in history:
Historical Events:
October 24th, 1861 - The First Transcontinental Telegraph line across the United States is completed, spelling the end for the 18-month-old Pony Express.
October 24th, 1901 - Annie Edson Taylor becomes the first person to go over Niagra Falls in a barrel.
October 24th, 1911 - Orville Wright remained in the air 9 minutes and 45 seconds in a glider at Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina setting a new world record that stood for 10 years.
October 24th, 1917 - The day of the Russian revolution, The Red Revolution.
October 24th, 1926 - Harry Houdini's last performance, which was at the Garrick Theatre in Detroit, Michigan.
October 24th, 1929 - "Black Thursday" stock market crash on the New York Stock Exchange.
October 24th, 1935 - Italy invades Ethiopia.
October 24th, 1945 - Founding of the United Nations.
October 24th, 1947 - Walt Disney testifies to the House Un-American Activities Committee, naming Disney employees he believes to be communists.
October 24th, 1973 - Yom Kippur War ends.
October 24th, 2003 - Concorde makes its last commercial flight.
Shared Birthdays:
10/24/1632 - Anton van Leeuwenhoek, Dutch microbiologist
10/24/1855 - James S. Sherman, Vice President of the United States
10/24/1887 - Victoria Eugenie of Battenberg, Queen of Spain
10/24/1891 - Rafael Molina-Trujillo, President of the Dominican Republic
10/24/1915 - Roger Milliken, American millionaire
10/24/1930 - The Big Bopper, American singer
10/24/1930 - Sultan Ahmad Shah, King of Malaysia
10/24/1947 - Kevin Kline, American actor
10/24/1981 - Tila Tequila, American model
10/24/1984 - Kaela Kimura, Japanese model and singer
People Who Died on My Birthday:
10/24/1537 - Jane Seymour, third wife of Henry VIII of England
10/24/1601 - Tycho Brahe, Danish astronomer
10/24/1669 - William Prynne, English Puritan leader
10/24/1852 - Daniel Webster, American lawyer and politician
10/24/1944 - Louis Renault, French automobile manufacturer
10/24/1957 - Christian Dior, French fashion designer
10/24/1972 - Jackie Robinson, baseball player
10/24/1991 - Gene Roddenberry, American television producer
10/24/1997 - Don Messick, American voice actor
10/24/2005 - Rosa Parks, American civil rights activist
All in all, it's a weird day. And United Nations Day, officially. And the anniversary of "Black Thursday". Still can't believe how many important people died on my birthday. I advise everyone to take a few moments and Wikipedia their own birthday. You just might learn something interesting...
Oh, and ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION IS ILLEGAL. Read more!
Yes, it was my "golden birthday" - the birthday where the age you are turning is the day in the month of your birthdate.
So since it was October 24th - it's pretty obvious how old I am today.
Here's some information on this day in history:
Historical Events:
October 24th, 1861 - The First Transcontinental Telegraph line across the United States is completed, spelling the end for the 18-month-old Pony Express.
October 24th, 1901 - Annie Edson Taylor becomes the first person to go over Niagra Falls in a barrel.
October 24th, 1911 - Orville Wright remained in the air 9 minutes and 45 seconds in a glider at Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina setting a new world record that stood for 10 years.
October 24th, 1917 - The day of the Russian revolution, The Red Revolution.
October 24th, 1926 - Harry Houdini's last performance, which was at the Garrick Theatre in Detroit, Michigan.
October 24th, 1929 - "Black Thursday" stock market crash on the New York Stock Exchange.
October 24th, 1935 - Italy invades Ethiopia.
October 24th, 1945 - Founding of the United Nations.
October 24th, 1947 - Walt Disney testifies to the House Un-American Activities Committee, naming Disney employees he believes to be communists.
October 24th, 1973 - Yom Kippur War ends.
October 24th, 2003 - Concorde makes its last commercial flight.
Shared Birthdays:
10/24/1632 - Anton van Leeuwenhoek, Dutch microbiologist
10/24/1855 - James S. Sherman, Vice President of the United States
10/24/1887 - Victoria Eugenie of Battenberg, Queen of Spain
10/24/1891 - Rafael Molina-Trujillo, President of the Dominican Republic
10/24/1915 - Roger Milliken, American millionaire
10/24/1930 - The Big Bopper, American singer
10/24/1930 - Sultan Ahmad Shah, King of Malaysia
10/24/1947 - Kevin Kline, American actor
10/24/1981 - Tila Tequila, American model
10/24/1984 - Kaela Kimura, Japanese model and singer
People Who Died on My Birthday:
10/24/1537 - Jane Seymour, third wife of Henry VIII of England
10/24/1601 - Tycho Brahe, Danish astronomer
10/24/1669 - William Prynne, English Puritan leader
10/24/1852 - Daniel Webster, American lawyer and politician
10/24/1944 - Louis Renault, French automobile manufacturer
10/24/1957 - Christian Dior, French fashion designer
10/24/1972 - Jackie Robinson, baseball player
10/24/1991 - Gene Roddenberry, American television producer
10/24/1997 - Don Messick, American voice actor
10/24/2005 - Rosa Parks, American civil rights activist
All in all, it's a weird day. And United Nations Day, officially. And the anniversary of "Black Thursday". Still can't believe how many important people died on my birthday. I advise everyone to take a few moments and Wikipedia their own birthday. You just might learn something interesting...
Oh, and ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION IS ILLEGAL. Read more!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Dumbledore is Gay.
For those of you who haven't read the Harry Potter series up until the end of Book Seven - I advise you take the title with a grain of salt, as though I'm just some internet jerk who's poking fun at Harry Potter fans. Go on, run along then and maybe pick up the series and put a little magic in your dreary life.
Seriously. Spoilers ahead.
Not joking. Spoileriffic.
Okay, you're been warned.
Yes, Dumbledore is indeed gay. This isn't some introspective nitpickery from re-reading the whole series eleventy times or anything - it's straight from the horse's mouth. Okay, well, the horse's creator's mouth.
J.K. Rowling recently had an interview at Carnegie Hall, answering questions from select people and sweepstakes winners and such. One of the questions was "Did Dumbledore, who believed in the prevailing power of love, ever fall in love himself?" I leave you to read the response of Rowling herself:
My truthful answer to you... I always thought of Dumbledore as gay. [ovation.] ... Dumbledore fell in love with Grindelwald, and that that added to his horror when Grindelwald showed himself to be what he was. To an extent, do we say it excused Dumbledore a little more because falling in love can blind us to an extend, but he met someone as brilliant as he was, and rather like Bellatrix he was very drawn to this brilliant person, and horribly, terribly let down by him. Yeah, that's how i always saw Dumbledore. In fact, recently I was in a script read through for the sixth film, and they had Dumbledore saying a line to Harry early in the script saying 'I knew a girl once, whose hair'... [laughter]. I had to write a little note in the margin and slide it along to the scriptwriter, 'Dumbledore's gay!' [laughter] If I'd known it would make you so happy, I would have announced it years ago!
And then, after a follow-up question that turned out to be thanks for the Dumbledore answer, J.K. Rowling said:
You needed something to keep you going for the next 10 years! Oh, my god, the fan fiction now, eh?
By the way, please spare me the fan-fiction. While I enjoy the thought of steamy romance based on fictional characters and the action they were never scripted to take part in, something is just too unsettling in my mind regarding the minutia of old gay wizard sex. No offense to the homosexuals, or elderly, or wizards (I suppose) - but I really would prefer not to read about it.
So what other awe-inspiring things were revealed by the author regarding her seven books and what things transpired before and after the stories themselves?
Neville finds love.
Hagrid does not.
Secrets are finally revealed about Dumbledore's brother and the "inappropriate charms" he used on a goat.
Petunia wanted to be a witch.
Yes, Death Eaters were a lot like German Nazis.
Sorry, the wizarding world doesn't employ werewolves.
Oh, and Snape? There's discussion about Snape.
You'll probably have to read the article to find out about all of those things. I just thought I needed to pass along this information to my fellow Potter fans who might not have been aware of this revelation at Carnegie Hall (as I had not been, until I read it on Fark and had to click the link to see if it was true, or just some internet jerk who might as been poking fun at Harry Potter fans, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post).
So read, enjoy, and if you feel like waiting around for the flood of Dumbledore-based fanfiction, be my guest.
You're just not getting any of it from me.
(The "J.K. Rowling at Carnegie Hall" Transcripts) Read more!
Seriously. Spoilers ahead.
Not joking. Spoileriffic.
Okay, you're been warned.
Yes, Dumbledore is indeed gay. This isn't some introspective nitpickery from re-reading the whole series eleventy times or anything - it's straight from the horse's mouth. Okay, well, the horse's creator's mouth.
J.K. Rowling recently had an interview at Carnegie Hall, answering questions from select people and sweepstakes winners and such. One of the questions was "Did Dumbledore, who believed in the prevailing power of love, ever fall in love himself?" I leave you to read the response of Rowling herself:
My truthful answer to you... I always thought of Dumbledore as gay. [ovation.] ... Dumbledore fell in love with Grindelwald, and that that added to his horror when Grindelwald showed himself to be what he was. To an extent, do we say it excused Dumbledore a little more because falling in love can blind us to an extend, but he met someone as brilliant as he was, and rather like Bellatrix he was very drawn to this brilliant person, and horribly, terribly let down by him. Yeah, that's how i always saw Dumbledore. In fact, recently I was in a script read through for the sixth film, and they had Dumbledore saying a line to Harry early in the script saying 'I knew a girl once, whose hair'... [laughter]. I had to write a little note in the margin and slide it along to the scriptwriter, 'Dumbledore's gay!' [laughter] If I'd known it would make you so happy, I would have announced it years ago!
And then, after a follow-up question that turned out to be thanks for the Dumbledore answer, J.K. Rowling said:
You needed something to keep you going for the next 10 years! Oh, my god, the fan fiction now, eh?
By the way, please spare me the fan-fiction. While I enjoy the thought of steamy romance based on fictional characters and the action they were never scripted to take part in, something is just too unsettling in my mind regarding the minutia of old gay wizard sex. No offense to the homosexuals, or elderly, or wizards (I suppose) - but I really would prefer not to read about it.
So what other awe-inspiring things were revealed by the author regarding her seven books and what things transpired before and after the stories themselves?
Neville finds love.
Hagrid does not.
Secrets are finally revealed about Dumbledore's brother and the "inappropriate charms" he used on a goat.
Petunia wanted to be a witch.
Yes, Death Eaters were a lot like German Nazis.
Sorry, the wizarding world doesn't employ werewolves.
Oh, and Snape? There's discussion about Snape.
You'll probably have to read the article to find out about all of those things. I just thought I needed to pass along this information to my fellow Potter fans who might not have been aware of this revelation at Carnegie Hall (as I had not been, until I read it on Fark and had to click the link to see if it was true, or just some internet jerk who might as been poking fun at Harry Potter fans, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post).
So read, enjoy, and if you feel like waiting around for the flood of Dumbledore-based fanfiction, be my guest.
You're just not getting any of it from me.
(The "J.K. Rowling at Carnegie Hall" Transcripts) Read more!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Absinthe Makes a Legal Comeback!
It's a cloudy green liquid with an equally-foggy past, swirling its way around the artists of olden days, back before absinthe was outlawed - as it has remained for about 95 years.
Well, soon a new era of absinthe may be upon us. Veridian Spirits of New York has figured out how to produce the liquor without the FDA-regulated problems that led to its illegal status. The new version of absinthe is bottled as Lucid Absinthe Superieure and will soon have partners in no-longer-crime. Here's the scoop:
Absinthe gets its distinctive flavor from the herbs anise and fennel, with which it is distilled, and its name from a third herb called grande wormwood (Artemisia absinthium), which contains the compound thujone. The amount of thujone, once considered to cause hallucinations or epilepsy, is regulated in the United States. Lucid's maker found a way to distill Lucid so that it contains less than 10 parts per million of thujone, which the government considers "thujone-free".
So for those of you hard-core absinthers, this loss of thujone-related craziness may mean a loss of interest, since it's no longer the official mind-blowing concoction shared in the past by Hemingway, Degas, Zola, Wilde, Picasso and Van Gogh (it's rumored that absinthe led to the ear-chopping that made him more famous). Still, while the Green Fairy made have lost a bit of the magic it once had, this new generation of absinthe liquors is imbibed in the same traditional magical methods.
For those of you who, like me before reading these articles, don't know anything about absinthe - there is a special method to preparing it for consumption. Fountains are involved. Typically, the rather-strong liquor itself is extremely bitter, containing no sugars in its production. To make up for this, many prepare their drinks in a very specific way. You put your measure of absinthe in the glass (many absinthe-specific glasses have a bulb at the bottom for one ounce of absinthe), and then place a sugar cube on a slotted spoon and pour water over the sugar cube, adding it to the drink until the cloudy concoction is at your specific level of dilution and less-bitterness. Bars used to have water fountains specifically for this purpose (and for preparing multiple drinks, quickly). I've also seen another method, which involves setting the sugar cube on fire and letting the melting sugar drip through the spoon and into the drink. I guess this is for purists who want to sweeten the drink without weakening it with water.
While, like with any illegal substance, underground groups and clubs have been making and sharing original absinthe since its banishment almost 100 years ago, this addition of legal versions is opening the mystique of the green liquor to bars and clubs (like Lumen here in Chicago). Many who plan on stocking these new absinthe bottles have installed classic water fountains. The real wonder is in the new drinks being created by these bars. Many are opting for new-age drinks, like absinthe and Red Bull. A few are paying homage to Hemingway and his "Death in the Afternoon Cocktail" - one ounce of absinthe and adding iced champagne until it reaches the "desired milkiness". There's also a martini drink called "Starry Night" which contains absinthe, Van Gogh Dutch Chocolate Vodka, a simple syrup and star anise floating on top as garnish. Whether it's as sophisticated as that martini or new "absinthe-minded shooters" which are shot glasses with one part absinthe and one part simple syrup, there's a new world of cloudy green alcoholic beverages that will be available for consumption - if you can handle the price.
Lucid is slowly making its way with availability across the country, but bottles are going for $59.99 for each 750-ml bottle. There are a few more producers of newer "thujone-free" versions of absinthe, but bottles are also in the $50-60 range. I don't have any information on what absinthe-inspired cocktails are being priced at, but I would assume it's proportional to the bottles. Expect it to be on the higher end of the price list; after all, the Lucid version is 124-proof!
Please remember to drink responsibly, and always wear safety goggles when burning sugar cubes on slotted spoons over cloudy liquors!
"Got tight last night on absinthe. Did knife tricks." - Ernest Hemingway
(One article about new absinthe)
(Another article, with history and methodology)
(DrinkLucid.com)
Read more!
Well, soon a new era of absinthe may be upon us. Veridian Spirits of New York has figured out how to produce the liquor without the FDA-regulated problems that led to its illegal status. The new version of absinthe is bottled as Lucid Absinthe Superieure and will soon have partners in no-longer-crime. Here's the scoop:
Absinthe gets its distinctive flavor from the herbs anise and fennel, with which it is distilled, and its name from a third herb called grande wormwood (Artemisia absinthium), which contains the compound thujone. The amount of thujone, once considered to cause hallucinations or epilepsy, is regulated in the United States. Lucid's maker found a way to distill Lucid so that it contains less than 10 parts per million of thujone, which the government considers "thujone-free".
So for those of you hard-core absinthers, this loss of thujone-related craziness may mean a loss of interest, since it's no longer the official mind-blowing concoction shared in the past by Hemingway, Degas, Zola, Wilde, Picasso and Van Gogh (it's rumored that absinthe led to the ear-chopping that made him more famous). Still, while the Green Fairy made have lost a bit of the magic it once had, this new generation of absinthe liquors is imbibed in the same traditional magical methods.
For those of you who, like me before reading these articles, don't know anything about absinthe - there is a special method to preparing it for consumption. Fountains are involved. Typically, the rather-strong liquor itself is extremely bitter, containing no sugars in its production. To make up for this, many prepare their drinks in a very specific way. You put your measure of absinthe in the glass (many absinthe-specific glasses have a bulb at the bottom for one ounce of absinthe), and then place a sugar cube on a slotted spoon and pour water over the sugar cube, adding it to the drink until the cloudy concoction is at your specific level of dilution and less-bitterness. Bars used to have water fountains specifically for this purpose (and for preparing multiple drinks, quickly). I've also seen another method, which involves setting the sugar cube on fire and letting the melting sugar drip through the spoon and into the drink. I guess this is for purists who want to sweeten the drink without weakening it with water.
While, like with any illegal substance, underground groups and clubs have been making and sharing original absinthe since its banishment almost 100 years ago, this addition of legal versions is opening the mystique of the green liquor to bars and clubs (like Lumen here in Chicago). Many who plan on stocking these new absinthe bottles have installed classic water fountains. The real wonder is in the new drinks being created by these bars. Many are opting for new-age drinks, like absinthe and Red Bull. A few are paying homage to Hemingway and his "Death in the Afternoon Cocktail" - one ounce of absinthe and adding iced champagne until it reaches the "desired milkiness". There's also a martini drink called "Starry Night" which contains absinthe, Van Gogh Dutch Chocolate Vodka, a simple syrup and star anise floating on top as garnish. Whether it's as sophisticated as that martini or new "absinthe-minded shooters" which are shot glasses with one part absinthe and one part simple syrup, there's a new world of cloudy green alcoholic beverages that will be available for consumption - if you can handle the price.
Lucid is slowly making its way with availability across the country, but bottles are going for $59.99 for each 750-ml bottle. There are a few more producers of newer "thujone-free" versions of absinthe, but bottles are also in the $50-60 range. I don't have any information on what absinthe-inspired cocktails are being priced at, but I would assume it's proportional to the bottles. Expect it to be on the higher end of the price list; after all, the Lucid version is 124-proof!
Please remember to drink responsibly, and always wear safety goggles when burning sugar cubes on slotted spoons over cloudy liquors!
"Got tight last night on absinthe. Did knife tricks." - Ernest Hemingway
(One article about new absinthe)
(Another article, with history and methodology)
(DrinkLucid.com)
Read more!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
ParkMagic or ParkNonsense?
There are 33,000 parking meters on the streets in the city of Chicago. I remember a simpler time, when you pulled up to a meter, whucked in a few quarters to throw time on the clock as needed, and went about your business. You didn't want to come back rushing to feed the meter, so you erred on the side of caution and maybe put in a little extra to make sure you have the time. You finish your business, come back to your car, and while for a second you lament the cents wasted with 12 minutes left on the meter, you consider those pennies better than the amount of a parking ticket, and consider it a charitable gift to whomever pulls their car in during the next 12 minutes.
If you think this "simpler time" is present day, you're sorely mistaken. Welcome to the ParkMagic era.
ParkMagic is an Ireland-based company with a U.S. site in Michigan. Basically the program entails a beeper-looking device that you buy and initially load with $15 or more. As you pull up to a parking meter, you then call this number, punch in your beeper information and the zone of your meter (yes, there are ZONES now, more on that in a minute), and it downloads to your beeper with a countdown instead of the meter. Now, instead of running to the meter to feed it more, you dash to your cellphone to call back up and dial in more money. Supposedly in the future, if this becomes mainstream, you'll be able to receive e-mails of traffic and availability as well as RECEIVE calls from your meter when it's close to expiring.
Some people may see this as a vast improvement, mostly because they don't need quarters anymore. I see it as nothing but a nuisance and digital nonsense.
For starters, the ZONES. I already am loathed at the idea that the city can just decree that just for arriving in the city and wanting to do business and stimulate the economy, you must pay for the privilege of leaving your car. We really are just a few steps away from tolls just to enter the precious city space. Sorry, city, but you're just slabs of pavement and asphalt and hobo urine - so GET OVER YOURSELF and just let me park the damned car. There used to be a STANDARD rate of coinage in a meter in relation to time allowed to park there. Now there are ZONES, from 1 to 6, which dictate how much time a quarter (oh, I'm sorry - 25 electronic cents) will get you. Zone 1 allows five whole minutes, Zone 2 is ten, Zone 3 is fifteen, Zone 4 is twenty, Zone 5 is thirty and Zone 6 allows for an hour.
If technology of today is any indicator, parking at a Zone 1 meter will mean that within 60 seconds, you'll need to be dialing in the number again to go through the menus and wait time due to call volume in order to ensure that your next 5-minute payment goes through before your meter runs out.
Of course, I'm sure that you can pay for more than 5 minutes at a time, but my point stands. Ten seconds to whuck in change, versus four minutes of phone menus to hope that everything works right and your beeper registers your payment.
Here's where a big truckload of nonsense comes into play: everyone is treating this like the city of Chicago is LOSING money somehow on these meters and that the new system will fix everything.
First off, the city starts LOSING money because now a share of the parking meter revenue gets split with ParkMagic. Doesn't anyone know business anymore? The more people you bring in on a deal, the more partners you have to share the profits with. Try watching ONE heist film and then tell me it's a smart idea to bring in some new jackass who wants a cut of the money. He'll probably shoot you and take YOUR cut, too. *shakes fist at ParkMagic* I'm not falling for that one again!!!
Secondly, too much emphasis is being put on cents and minutes and LIES. Take this quote from the ParkMagic CEO: "People pay for one hour. If they come back in an hour and fifteen minutes and get a ticket, they feel bad about it. If they don't get a ticket, the city has just lost 25 percent of an hour [worth of revenue]." Okay, assuming that you're willing to nitpick over the fact that the city loses that fifteen minutes in revenue (eight cents), that needs to be compared to the FREE money that the city gets from overpaying at a meter and leaving before time expires. You can't simply argue that it doesn't count, because someone else will pull into that spot and NOT pay money because time's still on the meter; we're using the same logic of "if that thing happens in this way" like the failure to issue a ticket, and the city hasn't even LOST money because the meter is fed and that's money for the city no matter whose car is parked there.
It's also a foolish idea to base this on the failure to issue tickets, which we ALL know is NOT the case. Even at a rate of two tickets per hour, I have a feeling that this revenue for the city not only pays for the meter agent's wages for the hour, but also counteracts all of those missed-eight-cents meters. I'm also pretty sure that more than two tickets are written per hour by each agent.
Thirdly, doesn't this go against everything that our politicians have been talking about? I may not have the best memory in the world, but wasn't it not too long ago that my favorite nemesis alderman was trying to ban radar detectors because they could be used to warn drivers of speed cameras? Didn't that alderman admit, point blank, that all of those tickets weren't just something that brought in revenue for the city - they were downright PART OF THE BUDGET?
So how is it that the aldermen are fine with this ParkMagic program? They lose money from the meters because the new partner gets a cut, and they're admittedly welcoming in a system that would potentially reduce the number of meter-related parking tickets by a drastic amount. Something just really doesn't seem right here. I mean, it seems completely right if you're a driver in the city of Chicago - which is what's baffling me. Maybe I'm just not used to programs potentially helping actual citizens (I mean, until the lack of ticket money creates a deficit that needs to be made up for by inevitably creating higher taxes).
I can't shake the feeling that this will bite us all in the ass.
Of course, I could be wrong. I don't even drive or own a car...
(The article about ParkMagic)
Read more!
If you think this "simpler time" is present day, you're sorely mistaken. Welcome to the ParkMagic era.
ParkMagic is an Ireland-based company with a U.S. site in Michigan. Basically the program entails a beeper-looking device that you buy and initially load with $15 or more. As you pull up to a parking meter, you then call this number, punch in your beeper information and the zone of your meter (yes, there are ZONES now, more on that in a minute), and it downloads to your beeper with a countdown instead of the meter. Now, instead of running to the meter to feed it more, you dash to your cellphone to call back up and dial in more money. Supposedly in the future, if this becomes mainstream, you'll be able to receive e-mails of traffic and availability as well as RECEIVE calls from your meter when it's close to expiring.
Some people may see this as a vast improvement, mostly because they don't need quarters anymore. I see it as nothing but a nuisance and digital nonsense.
For starters, the ZONES. I already am loathed at the idea that the city can just decree that just for arriving in the city and wanting to do business and stimulate the economy, you must pay for the privilege of leaving your car. We really are just a few steps away from tolls just to enter the precious city space. Sorry, city, but you're just slabs of pavement and asphalt and hobo urine - so GET OVER YOURSELF and just let me park the damned car. There used to be a STANDARD rate of coinage in a meter in relation to time allowed to park there. Now there are ZONES, from 1 to 6, which dictate how much time a quarter (oh, I'm sorry - 25 electronic cents) will get you. Zone 1 allows five whole minutes, Zone 2 is ten, Zone 3 is fifteen, Zone 4 is twenty, Zone 5 is thirty and Zone 6 allows for an hour.
If technology of today is any indicator, parking at a Zone 1 meter will mean that within 60 seconds, you'll need to be dialing in the number again to go through the menus and wait time due to call volume in order to ensure that your next 5-minute payment goes through before your meter runs out.
Of course, I'm sure that you can pay for more than 5 minutes at a time, but my point stands. Ten seconds to whuck in change, versus four minutes of phone menus to hope that everything works right and your beeper registers your payment.
Here's where a big truckload of nonsense comes into play: everyone is treating this like the city of Chicago is LOSING money somehow on these meters and that the new system will fix everything.
First off, the city starts LOSING money because now a share of the parking meter revenue gets split with ParkMagic. Doesn't anyone know business anymore? The more people you bring in on a deal, the more partners you have to share the profits with. Try watching ONE heist film and then tell me it's a smart idea to bring in some new jackass who wants a cut of the money. He'll probably shoot you and take YOUR cut, too. *shakes fist at ParkMagic* I'm not falling for that one again!!!
Secondly, too much emphasis is being put on cents and minutes and LIES. Take this quote from the ParkMagic CEO: "People pay for one hour. If they come back in an hour and fifteen minutes and get a ticket, they feel bad about it. If they don't get a ticket, the city has just lost 25 percent of an hour [worth of revenue]." Okay, assuming that you're willing to nitpick over the fact that the city loses that fifteen minutes in revenue (eight cents), that needs to be compared to the FREE money that the city gets from overpaying at a meter and leaving before time expires. You can't simply argue that it doesn't count, because someone else will pull into that spot and NOT pay money because time's still on the meter; we're using the same logic of "if that thing happens in this way" like the failure to issue a ticket, and the city hasn't even LOST money because the meter is fed and that's money for the city no matter whose car is parked there.
It's also a foolish idea to base this on the failure to issue tickets, which we ALL know is NOT the case. Even at a rate of two tickets per hour, I have a feeling that this revenue for the city not only pays for the meter agent's wages for the hour, but also counteracts all of those missed-eight-cents meters. I'm also pretty sure that more than two tickets are written per hour by each agent.
Thirdly, doesn't this go against everything that our politicians have been talking about? I may not have the best memory in the world, but wasn't it not too long ago that my favorite nemesis alderman was trying to ban radar detectors because they could be used to warn drivers of speed cameras? Didn't that alderman admit, point blank, that all of those tickets weren't just something that brought in revenue for the city - they were downright PART OF THE BUDGET?
So how is it that the aldermen are fine with this ParkMagic program? They lose money from the meters because the new partner gets a cut, and they're admittedly welcoming in a system that would potentially reduce the number of meter-related parking tickets by a drastic amount. Something just really doesn't seem right here. I mean, it seems completely right if you're a driver in the city of Chicago - which is what's baffling me. Maybe I'm just not used to programs potentially helping actual citizens (I mean, until the lack of ticket money creates a deficit that needs to be made up for by inevitably creating higher taxes).
I can't shake the feeling that this will bite us all in the ass.
Of course, I could be wrong. I don't even drive or own a car...
(The article about ParkMagic)
Read more!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
