So on Sunday, I was roaming the streets of the Loop after working extra hours and was feeling thirsty for an energy drink, so I wound up at some 7-11 to check out their selection and something new caught my eye. Mostly because it had a large warning label.
Spike Shooter
Warning - Do Not Exceed One Can Per Day
So of course I had to buy it.
Well, I'll let ME tell you all about it:
So that was Sunday. Then on Monday, I wound up working more overtime, into the wee hours of the morning. Tuesday 7am found me back at my desk on 3 hours of sleep total and I knew these were the perfect conditions where I'd need a real energy drink (not that my standard daily consumption of Amp, Monster or other energy drinks isn't real or anything - just seemed like "warning label"-level energy drink conditions). At 8:30am I was resolved (and wanted witnesses, as most of the office is in by that point) to try this sucker out.
And no, I wouldn't be starting with a half-can to test my tolerance!
HAAAAAAAAA!!! <-- Manly laugh
I think my face on the video and statement sums it all up:
"This tastes like a bad idea."
Here's what I can recall of my day past that point...
8:45am
Okay, this is no problem. Aside from a bitter taste in my mouth, I'm starting to feel some energy kick in. I think my thoughts are becoming clearer and less-dulled than before the can.
9:00am
Whoa, this is officially too much energy for my brain to handle. If only they made a beverage to give you lucidity instead of just energy. I can feel my muscles twitching already as the initial caffeine surge moves through my bloodstream.
10:00am
Leg-shaking has begun. My heartbeat has definitely increased, though I have no way of verifying this statement. If only I could remember how to properly take my radial pulse! The energy is useless if your brain can't harness the power in a positive manner!
12:00pm
Okay, now I don't need to recall how to properly take a radial pulse because putting a hand on my chest yields a perfect monitor for my heartbeat. It is going STRONG - and now I'm worried that this is due to some increase in blood pressure from consuming this thing. I already have a bit of a high blood pressure issue (more stress-related than anything else, but I won't ignore my horrible diet contributing) and I've determined that if my nose (or anything else) starts spontaneously bleeding, I'm going home for the day.
It is at this point that I realize that any further thirst on my end has mindlessly resulted in sips from my standard-issue energy drink. It gets put in the fridge so it's out of my hand's unconscious reach. The warning label only said I couldn't have more that one can of Spike Shooter in a day, it didn't specifically say I couldn't have any other energy drinks! Still, I need to take a break from energy drinks. I grab a less-caffeinated can of Diet Coke and press onward.
2:00pm
Heartbeat still running fast and strong, and now my stomach is really growling. Perhaps I've burned up some energy and need to refill. Perhaps I've just been awake for 21 of the past 24 hours and in that time only had some spaghetti around 9pm the previous night, meaning I should probably take a lunch today.
Stupidly chose McDonald's. Because Shamrock Shakes are back in effect! Upon consuming the french fries, I recall my previous worries about blood pressure. This is not enough to stop me from eating, but at least I gave it a thought.
The headache is now subsiding a little, and I'm feeling a bit more normalized. My leg still has bouts of twitching and I am in no need of any further energy-laden drink.
4:00pm
Headache gone. Can no longer feel heartbeat as easily through chest. Using sentence fragments.
At the time, I was way too into my usual routine to notice much difference going on. This either means that at the 7-hour mark, the caffeine and whatnot has withdrawn to my usual levels - or I'm just way too busy to notice my own physiology. Zen and the Art of Energy Drinks? I dunno.
7:15pm
Finally able to leave the office. All tremors are gone, but I feel the fatigue settling back in as I hit a cab to take me home. I'm still feeling ALERT, but my response time has only deteriorated since about noon and it's very evident during the cab ride.
9:30pm
Had some dinner. Sleepiness is now teaming up with muscle fatigue and it's bedtime. I highly doubt that had I taken this energy drink 6 hours before bedtime that I would be able to sleep at all (the warning label includes the statement to not consume less than 6 hours before bedtime). Altogether, it's been a wild ride - but it provided me and my co-workers with some entertainment in-between the rants about how crazy/dumb I am for doing such a thing.
But hey - if they make the product, I'm going to want to review it!
What do you think? Am I a fool for doing this? Have you encountered/consumed this product? Leave a comment and let me know!
And then Digg this article!
Read more!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Fact of the Day - February 16, 2010
Just a quick one for Mardi Gras. Sorry there are no elaborate drawings to make fun of.
Hope you are all having a better Fat Tuesday than me.
Can I give up "working late" for Lent?
Or will that definitely not work since I'm Jewish...?
Oh well - hope you enjoyed some pancakes or paczkis today!
Bacon Buns for Mardi Gras!
Needed to post something today and unfortunately I was in too groggy/sleepy/grumpy of a mood today to remember that it was Mardi Gras until I was on the bus to work. So the ONE DAY of the year when it's appropriate to wear a fuzzy purple top hat and I miss it!
Anyway, picked up some Munchkin donuts for my coworkers to celebrate and remembered I grabbed my breakfast: a Southside Chicago treat that I can't find anywhere else.
I present to you: The Bacon Bun!
What do you think? Don't Bacon Buns sound delicious? Leave a comment and let me know!
And then Digg this article!
Read more!
Anyway, picked up some Munchkin donuts for my coworkers to celebrate and remembered I grabbed my breakfast: a Southside Chicago treat that I can't find anywhere else.
I present to you: The Bacon Bun!
What do you think? Don't Bacon Buns sound delicious? Leave a comment and let me know!
And then Digg this article!
Read more!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Fact of the Day - February 15, 2010
Sorry for the delay. At first I was having a snow delay due to Tuesday's insane snowstorm. Then Wednesday, our office actually got a Snow Day for the first time I can recall. Thursday was playing catch up from our missed day, and on Friday I just wasn't able to stay and get this one done.
So now it's Monday. And I'm still at the office, but had enough time to finally ink this up and color it and get it posted for you all. Perhaps this week I'll have a tiny bit of downtime to keep this "of the day" thing a DAILY thing.
Oh, and this fact comes from this article that mentions:
Q: How many Lego bricks are produced each year?
A: Approximately 19 billion Lego elements are produced per year. 2.16 million are molded every hour, 36,000 every minute.
Q: Approximately, how many bricks they've ever made since Lego started to produce them?
A: More than 400 billion Lego bricks have been produced since 1958. There are about 62 Lego bricks per person of the Earth’s population.
So there you have it. I'm back. For now.
Monday, February 08, 2010
Fact of the Day - February 8, 2010
It's true. Seriously. Don't believe me? Why don't you take a look at the Trek 'N Eat website that lists this product.
Just heat the can in a water bath, open the lid, and enjoy your delicious cheeseburger!
(And then projectile-vomit for several hours.)
Nah, I'm sure it's totally safe. I trust most things that come in a can - with the exception of Spam. Not that I wouldn't EAT it - I just don't TRUST it. Mostly for the reason that if Spam is "Spiced Ham", then why is there no Spicken or Speef? That's untrustworthy marketing and a little offensive to Jews who enjoy spiced meats but want to keep Kosher.
Kosher in a can...
Sunday, February 07, 2010
Thoughts on Copyright and Libel
I think that since I'm getting this blog back up and active, I need more thought-provoking posts than just my Facts of the Day and whatnot. So while watching some shows on Hulu this morning (one of my only remaining sources of full commercials), I had one of my random thoughts:
It was from watching an ad for Red Bull. Maybe you've had the same thoughts as well.
So as you all likely know, the catchprase for Red Bull is that it "gives you wings". I'm almost certain they've got some kind of copyright or trademark on that catchphrase/slogan by now, judging by how long it's been used by them and how nobody else has used it that I can think of to this day.
So here's the conundrum: if science is improving where it comes to genomes and DNA and radiation therapy - isn't it just a matter of time before we have a product that really affects your genetics enough to catalyze the growth of actual human wings?
Now I'm not saying these will be fully-functional wings that will allow human flight and make ground transportation obsolete or have pedestrians needing to be careful for more than little white blips falling from the sky. I'm just saying they will be grown from the human body and resemble wings. I'm sure we already have the laser technology to have some plastic surgeon modify your eyeballs so they look exactly like a cat's eye - that doesn't mean it would be able to function exactly like the feline eye.
So here's the question: If this product finally comes to the marketplace, will they be allowed to use the slogan "gives you wings" in their advertisements?
I mean the facts are facts - it will give you wings. So technically it's a statement and not necessarily an advertisement. But would Red Bull be able to sue? I mean, when all things are considered, they're legally making false accusations - Red Bull does not actually give you wings. Isn't that false advertisement already? Maybe I haven't been paying attention, but does Red Bull have one of those disclaimers on their advertisements saying "Red Bull does not actually give you wings and you should not jump out of a goddamned window because you drank one and think you have wings now, you braindead moron" somewhere in fine print?
Shouldn't they? Did I miss one of those ridiculous lawsuits that popped up in the mid-to-late-90s of mentally-deficient plaintiffs who sued companies for hot coffee that was served hot, or hair driers that didn't specifically say not to use them while in a running shower? I mean if a Superman costume has to provide a warning to children that it will not actually give them the power to fly (because we know children are dumb enough to try it and likely did and caused a lawsuit), doesn't Red Bull need one of those disclaimers?
I think we need to get some failures of life on this. Grab some Red Bull, power it down, and "gives you wings" your way off the roof and onto the pavement in a lovely tableau that will convince a jury of your peers that Red Bull totally needs to provide some dummy disclaimers or stop telling the masses that it "gives you wings" - until it actually CAN give you wings.
Or maybe we should pool our resources into that first thing - the product that actually will give you wings. I think that's a lot more helpful to society. Although society is full of a lot of guys who're more likely to roof-jump than develop a gene-altering wing-growing product.
So maybe we can do both. I'm just saying there are legal implications here that need addressing.
What do you think? False advertising? Disclaimer needed? Leave a comment and let me know!
And then Digg this article!
Read more!
It was from watching an ad for Red Bull. Maybe you've had the same thoughts as well.
So as you all likely know, the catchprase for Red Bull is that it "gives you wings". I'm almost certain they've got some kind of copyright or trademark on that catchphrase/slogan by now, judging by how long it's been used by them and how nobody else has used it that I can think of to this day.
So here's the conundrum: if science is improving where it comes to genomes and DNA and radiation therapy - isn't it just a matter of time before we have a product that really affects your genetics enough to catalyze the growth of actual human wings?
Now I'm not saying these will be fully-functional wings that will allow human flight and make ground transportation obsolete or have pedestrians needing to be careful for more than little white blips falling from the sky. I'm just saying they will be grown from the human body and resemble wings. I'm sure we already have the laser technology to have some plastic surgeon modify your eyeballs so they look exactly like a cat's eye - that doesn't mean it would be able to function exactly like the feline eye.
So here's the question: If this product finally comes to the marketplace, will they be allowed to use the slogan "gives you wings" in their advertisements?
I mean the facts are facts - it will give you wings. So technically it's a statement and not necessarily an advertisement. But would Red Bull be able to sue? I mean, when all things are considered, they're legally making false accusations - Red Bull does not actually give you wings. Isn't that false advertisement already? Maybe I haven't been paying attention, but does Red Bull have one of those disclaimers on their advertisements saying "Red Bull does not actually give you wings and you should not jump out of a goddamned window because you drank one and think you have wings now, you braindead moron" somewhere in fine print?
Shouldn't they? Did I miss one of those ridiculous lawsuits that popped up in the mid-to-late-90s of mentally-deficient plaintiffs who sued companies for hot coffee that was served hot, or hair driers that didn't specifically say not to use them while in a running shower? I mean if a Superman costume has to provide a warning to children that it will not actually give them the power to fly (because we know children are dumb enough to try it and likely did and caused a lawsuit), doesn't Red Bull need one of those disclaimers?
I think we need to get some failures of life on this. Grab some Red Bull, power it down, and "gives you wings" your way off the roof and onto the pavement in a lovely tableau that will convince a jury of your peers that Red Bull totally needs to provide some dummy disclaimers or stop telling the masses that it "gives you wings" - until it actually CAN give you wings.
Or maybe we should pool our resources into that first thing - the product that actually will give you wings. I think that's a lot more helpful to society. Although society is full of a lot of guys who're more likely to roof-jump than develop a gene-altering wing-growing product.
So maybe we can do both. I'm just saying there are legal implications here that need addressing.
What do you think? False advertising? Disclaimer needed? Leave a comment and let me know!
And then Digg this article!
Read more!
Fact of the Day - February 7, 2010
Well technically they're not "banned", but a bill signed by President George W. Bush back in 2008 set energy-efficiency standards to take effect in 2012 and 2014 that our current standard light bulbs just can't stand up to.
So in 2012, our 100W-bulb as we know it will no longer be energy-efficient enough to be allowed for manufacture.
I was reminded of that boring piece of news from this website dated 2008 - just a few weeks after I purchased a bunch of 100-watt bulbs to brighten the hell out of our living room.
I may want to stash one of those 4-packs for profit on the black market when 2012 hits...
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Fact of the Day - February 6, 2010
So yea, probably the worst drawing of Gerry Ford ever. But that's what happens when I try to draw my own faces based on random Google Images that I've looked up.
I think it's bad, but it's decent enough that if you see the Gerald Ford above it, you can agree it looks kinda like him. But seeing that drawing by itself would never register President Ford in anyone's mind.
Anyway, this fact came from the Gerald Ford Library website and it goes on to say:
President Gerald R. Ford was born on July 14, 1913 at Omaha, Nebraska and was originally given the name Leslie Lynch King, Jr. His parents, Leslie Lynch King and Dorothy Ayer Gardner, had been married on September 7, 1912 at Harvard, Illinois. Just over two weeks after the birth of their son, Dorothy separated from her husband and took her infant son to her sister's home in Oak Park, Illinois and then to her parents home in Grand Rapids, Michigan. On December 19, 1913 an Omaha court granted her a divorce. In 1917 she married Grand Rapids businessman Gerald R. Ford and they soon began calling her son Gerald R. Ford, Jr., although his name was not legally changed until December 3, 1935.
Ford had the least imaginative mother possible, huh?
Well - enjoy this rare weekend update of the Fact of the Day! Another one coming tomorrow!
Friday, February 05, 2010
I'm a Vlogger!
Okay, so despite the fact that I have:
1) A very good digital picture camera that has video capabilities
2) A digital videocamera that I bought specifically to do videos with
It took my office providing me with a Blackberry so I can be chained to my e-mail and text messages at all hours of the day and night to finally grab a video, put it on a computer, and put in on the internet.
Okay, so I've technically got tons of random videos from the above two devices on my computer at home, but for some odd reason today was the first time I've felt like grabbing some video and making sure I know how to post it to the blog.
I still want to keep doing my Facts of the Day posts. I also want to start doing some video blogging. But there's a lot of things that I want in life and unfortunately most of them take these things called TIME and EFFORT and my non-work life is in short supply of both. Especially now that we've pretty much decided that we're moving in about a month, which means all free time will be split between:
1) My lovely girlfriend (who I need to mention first and foremost because she does come first)
2) Kingdom of Loathing, the best free online RPG-based hilarious game on the internet (join and befriend AaronBSam and I'll give you some Meat - the game's currency)
3) Aika (a closed beta I got into that I'd like to maybe get in on the ground floor for, but who knows?)
4) TV shows (because if I miss The Office, what's the purpose of life?)
5) BOXING AND CLEANING
Anyway, I gotta get to work, so here's my first vlog - I hope this works!
What do you think? Leave a comment and let me know!
And then Digg this article!
Read more!
1) A very good digital picture camera that has video capabilities
2) A digital videocamera that I bought specifically to do videos with
It took my office providing me with a Blackberry so I can be chained to my e-mail and text messages at all hours of the day and night to finally grab a video, put it on a computer, and put in on the internet.
Okay, so I've technically got tons of random videos from the above two devices on my computer at home, but for some odd reason today was the first time I've felt like grabbing some video and making sure I know how to post it to the blog.
I still want to keep doing my Facts of the Day posts. I also want to start doing some video blogging. But there's a lot of things that I want in life and unfortunately most of them take these things called TIME and EFFORT and my non-work life is in short supply of both. Especially now that we've pretty much decided that we're moving in about a month, which means all free time will be split between:
1) My lovely girlfriend (who I need to mention first and foremost because she does come first)
2) Kingdom of Loathing, the best free online RPG-based hilarious game on the internet (join and befriend AaronBSam and I'll give you some Meat - the game's currency)
3) Aika (a closed beta I got into that I'd like to maybe get in on the ground floor for, but who knows?)
4) TV shows (because if I miss The Office, what's the purpose of life?)
5) BOXING AND CLEANING
Anyway, I gotta get to work, so here's my first vlog - I hope this works!
What do you think? Leave a comment and let me know!
And then Digg this article!
Read more!
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Fact of the Day - February 4, 2010
Worst. Handgun. Ever.
And pay no attention to the candy corn bullets.
But it is true that the federal government gets 10% of all the money from handgun (pistol and revolver) sales and 11% of all the money from all other guns and ammunition sales.
The Tax and Trade Bureau Website
Maybe one day the originals will be worth something. That's why I'm making sure to date and sign them all now.
Well, maybe you'll see another fact tomorrow! Feel free to post things you'd like to see facts about. Like weird laws in your city/state, or maybe an animal you'd like to know more about. Or just let me keep picking things at random - whatever!
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Fact of the Day - February 3, 2010
Hooray for salt! This FotD comes from The Salt Institute. That's how awesome today has been.
I just dislike the phrasing of their statistics, because they list the estimated US salt reserve in metric tons and they list the world's annual salt consumption in regular tons. That's about a 2.2 factor of difference!
Oh crud, my analyst tendencies are showing!
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Fact of the Day - February 2, 2010
You can thank former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin for this little tidbit!
The 26th Alaska State Legislature officially passed Senate Bill 58 on April 18, 2009, making Marmot Day a new holiday to occur on February 2, replacing Groundhog Day.
To be fair, there are no groundhogs in Alaska.
Then again, Groundhog Day was just a way to replace Candlemas Day and create a new gimmick about seeing shadows to state the same Candlemas superstition that:
"If Candlemas be fair and bright
Winter will have another flight
If Candlemas be cloud and rain
Winter will be gone and not come again"
A backup fact for today was going to be something about the famous Punxsutawney Phil's predictions are deemed to have been 37-40% accurate according to National Climatic Data Center. Punxsutawney Phil's handlers, of course, claim that his predictions have been 100% accurate. But then again, these are the same people that claim that every summer, Phil is fed a sip of the mysterious Groundhog Punch, which magically lengthens his life for seven years.
Seriously...
Monday, February 01, 2010
Fact of the Day - February 1, 2010
In 1951, the US Government eliminated the classification "old age" on death certificates.
Don't worry - plenty of death classifications are still out there waiting to show up on your death certificate.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be in a less-morbid state of mind.
At least I can go to bed knowing I can't die of "old age".
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