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Monday, August 13, 2007

Rap Deathmatch!

This is what I like to see, and I think there should be more of it in the entertainment industry today. It's the career version of no-limit Texas Hold'Em and deciding to shout "All In!" Two men enter the marketplace. One man leaves. And the other man stays, to continue his career. This is what it's all about, and we need more celebrities doing it - putting their careers on the line, providing us with both the best of what they can offer (finally!) and the relief of having the loser gone from sight.

50 Cent: "If If Kanye West sells more records than 50 Cent on September 11, I'll no longer write music. I'll write music and work with my other artists, but I won't put out anymore solo albums."

50 Cent, welcome to the Entertainment Industry Thunderdome! Just for participating in this glorious arena, your "Platinum Balls" trophy is in the mail, provided that Kanye accepts your challenge. (The Thunderdome rules only apply if two men enter, you know?)

I'm literally praying that Kanye West agrees to this challenge. I'm rather sick and tired of Kanye West, and I believe that 50 Cent has the larger following and could pull off a victory. He's certainly the favorite in MY books. Not that I'm a bookie or anything. So no need to contact me to place your bets if this shindig actually takes place. Though I'm really hoping it does take place.

I'm not really much a fan of 50 Cent, either. In my mind, we're kind of dealing with a "lesser of two evils" scenario. But that's where the magic of the career pink slips comes in. The best thing about a fight to the career death with two artists who you don't really care for is that one of them is guaranteed to never bother you (as much) again! Sure, his rules stipulate that he can still write music and you could still wind up hearing him on a track by another artist - but his solo career is over! For good!

So let's come up with rules for spreading this to other industries...

Singers: No more solo albums, I like the thought of that. I'm okay with songwriting and performing with others, but you should not be vocally present on more than 50% of the songs on any album.
Actors: No more starring roles. You can be in the movie business, directing or producing or something, but only acting as a cameo role at best.
TV Actors: No more starring roles. Again, you can be in the business behind the scenes, but you must not appear on any opening credits as anything but "Guest Star".
Game Show Hosts: Same applies as the TV Actors. I just think Game Show Hosts deserves a category of its own.

So now the Thunderdomes are set up and ready for participants. Who would you like to see doing battle with their careers on the line? What pairing would be a fair fight, whether you don't care which jackass loses or your money is riding on your personal favorite? Here's a few of my ideas:

Chris Rock vs. Chris Tucker: Tucker's latest movie just came out. If Rock's next movie beats it at the box office, we'll have a winner.

Ted Danson vs. Kelsey Grammar: I think each of them have a new crappy show coming out this fall. Ratings winner takes all. One of them goes home, for good.

Those are my ideas - I WANT TO HEAR YOURS!

The article about the 50 Cent vs. Kanye West challenge

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