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Monday, January 31, 2011

Doodle - 01/31/2011

Doodle_110131, originally uploaded by AaronBSam.

It was an interesting weekend, and it's inspired me to draw more. Maybe even try out a ZINE.

So here's all of my idea for today, just the title card. FYI: Moose and Reese are the names of our pet rats.

Unfortunately to most it will look like a knock-off of Two Lumps. Even though that is totally about cats, and mine would totally be about rats. And less funny. And more-poorly drawn.

...Back to the drawing board?

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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Doodle - 01/27/2011

Doodle_110127, originally uploaded by AaronBSam.

(Now in COLOR!)

I don't know how to put this into context other than provide you with insane ramblings that LED UP to this statement. It just doesn't make the statement make any more real sense...

Me: The space-time continuum works in very mysterious ways. And the result is fortunately always Chicken McNuggets. It's the only reason why they're allowed to exist. The universe demands it.

Coworker: Nuggets feed the time line. Without them, time would collapse in on itself, destroying the universe.

Me: Now we're getting into a philosophical "Which came first: the Chicken McNugget or Time Itself" debate and I unfortunately have other shit to do.

And that's just PART of the conversation. I'm sparing you all the prequel which included who is having sex with whose mothers and the "I am my own grandfather" paradox/conundrum. Maybe another time. Maybe another doodle.

Later! I unfortunately have other shit to do!

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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Doodle - 01/26/2011

Doodle_110126, originally uploaded by AaronBSam.

Expect a lot of updates in the "Optimistic Pessimism in Action" series of doodles. This is my most favorite example of my particular brand of "optimistic pessimism". Sometimes it's referred to as "double-negative", in a grammatically-correct sort of way.

Basically, in my line of work, despite it being anumber-crunching data-related job, very very little of my job is absolute and hard-fact numbers. This is why I cannot state things are 100% certain. They are just as little uncertain as possible. Et cetera.

Just another doodle done, thanks to a giant project finally being put to bed (for the day) at 4:30pm on a workday.

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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Doodle - 01/25/2011 (2)

Doodle_110125b, originally uploaded by AaronBSam.

It's the LOVE that makes it taste so special. And the GREASE.

*Nugget Not Drawn To Scale

*Margins of Error Estimated at +/- 2%

*Your Nugget Results May Vary

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Doodle - 01/25/2011 (1)

Doodle_110125a, originally uploaded by AaronBSam.

Brother, Can You Spare a Hug?

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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

New Comment Protocol

Hello, Dear Readers.

I regert to inform you all that commenting on this blog has now been changed so that Anonymous guests cannot leave comments.

Basically this was done for three main reasons:

1. 99% of the comments being left here are spam
2. 99% of those comments are being posted anonymously
3. It increases my depression to know that every day I get 6 to 10 comments, but they are all SPAM.

Maybe my upgrading to this new system of registered users being the only ones allowed to post comments, the spam will stop.

Unfortunately, it is likely that the comments will also stop.

But if I have to choose my specifio reasons for being depressed, I prefer the reason that "I am alone in the world and nobody cares about my opinions" rather than "I am not alone in the world but the only beings who care about my opinions are all spambots".

So please. Leave me a comment. Please?? Read more!

Sunday, January 02, 2011

Attention Commercials: The "Holiday Season" Is OVER.

I am reminded of a SuperBowl moment from many years past in which a "wardrobe malfunction" led to a series of debates and news stories regarding what constitutes as "offensive television broadcasting" and the fact that the FCC was allowed to fine the television broadcasters a hefty amount because of the damaging/offensive nature of what they allowed to air on their channel.

But which is really more psychologically damaging and deserving of a strict penalty and fine for the broadcaster: a split-second viewing of the nipple of a major celebrity or holiday commercials that are aired outside of the holiday season?

In my opinion, I can think of incredibly few scenarios in which the viewing of Janet Jackson's nipple could put a human being into a homicidal rampage. And yet it seems that way before Thanksgiving and way after New Year's are we all bombarded with Christmas-related commercials - and the urge to kill rises. It's a wonder that you don't see murderers throughout the month of January on film in high-speed chases with the police, then led off in handcuffs sporting a murderous grin while softly humming the particular holiday commercial jingle that finally drove them over the edge.

I present to you two commercials that, if not stopped immediately, will be what you hear humming from behind prison bars in February by convicted killers with icy stares and sinister smiles:

I get it, Hyundai. You found an indie band called "Pomplamoose" consisting of two members who have a certain sound that really belongs on NPR and it's wacky because now you can bring them to the public eye and sell some cars while promoting Christmas.

CHRISTMAS IS OVER. NEW YEAR'S IS OVER. HANNUKAH IS REALLY OVER. You have no right to continue promoting a "Holiday" sale! Cease and desist immediately!

The FCC should fine any television broadcasting station which continues to allow the airing of advertisements related to "winter holidays" after 11:59pm PST on January 1st.

For our sanity. Think of the children!

What do you think? Do you also feel murderous rage when watching holiday commercials after the official holiday season is over? Leave a comment!

And then Digg this article!

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Saturday, January 01, 2011

Back for the New Year with New Gripes!

Happy New Year 2011 to everyone!

After long last, I'm updating the blog. I really need to get back into writing things, getting a little frustration out (in the form of scathing reviews or opinionated articles, not necessarily related to the actual items frustrating me - that's what my personal journals/blogs are for!) and getting back into the swing of things.

Also - reaching out to the world again. Tired of hiding here in the apartment with my girl and my pets, especially now that the winter is upon us and there's even less enticement to leave my comfy jammy-jams and into the great wide cold void that is the outside world for the next few months.

Oh, and you can also chalk this up to "New Years Resolutions" that will undoubtedly fail. I hope it won't, but I know I can't keep up with daily updates or anything. Work schedules and girlfriend schedules simply won't allow that. But I can say that I'll give it some effort to keep this blog up.

Maybe in time I'll get comments that aren't spambots.
Maybe in time I can generate some revenue on this blog somehow.
Maybe in time I'll do all those things I've been meaning to do...

Write reviews on Yelp, write about my recent travels to L.A. to visit family and some old familiar places, write about the current state of the world and all of the things that just piss me off in general.

You know, the usual.


"Truvia" Commercials.

I can't fully explain just why this commercial fills me with such misogynistic rage. Perhaps it's the insipid way that the following words were combined in mind-numbingly-dumb jingle format: "made my butt fat", "self-control down the drain" and "skinny jeans zipped in relief".

That's right - SUGAR is to blame for your lack of self-control and resultant large ass. Not the fact that you're eating DESSERT with your morning coffee instead of even a SEMI-nutritional breakfast. Or that you find comfort in eating due to low self-worth or self-esteem or the myriad of other psychological reasons that make people overeat. Or the fact that you're genetically likely to have a large ass because both of your parents also had large asses.

I'm a fat person, and you know who I blame for it? Me. I don't blame the food for making me fat. I blame me for shoveling that food into my gaping maw. Just like YOU SHOULD, YOU BITCH!! Are you really telling me that the fact that you decided to sprinkle sugar into your coffee in the morning causes you GRIEF? How about NOT sprinkling sugar into your coffee??? DID YOU TRY THAT???

No - you were waiting for science to come up with something magical that gives you all the satisfaction of sugar but without the meager 40 calories or whatever that a normal human likely adds to their morning libation of caffeine.

(They did that a number of years ago. Several times. Like with Sweet 'N Low, Equal, Splenda, and a number of off-brand products made with a variety of calorie-free sugar substitutes.

Oh, but this one comes from a plant. Awesome. Enjoy having plant-based artificial sweetener in your coffee.

I still hate you, Truvia Bitch. At a subliminal, liminal and superliminal level. I loathe you and the marketing company that decided to come up with one of the worst commercials of the year that I would expect has singlehandedly led to a rise in the number of random violent attacks on women, who likely all happened to be using this particular brand of artificial sweetener.

What do you think? Do you also feel something in your subconscious when watching this commercial that fills you with something dark and evil and violent? Leave a comment!

And then Digg this article!

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