Don't Vote?

First I want to say that yes - I plan on voting in the '08 elections. I plan on voting every time I get the chance, especially city and state votes. No matter how much you despise the political machine, you have to recognize that all of the cogs in that machine are the citizens of voting age, and the only way to affect the outcome of the machine is to do what you can as a cog and see what outcomes you can make possible.

So I guess it's time to look at the collective cogs over in Iowa for this "caucus" thing I keep hearing about. I don't know if it's just me, but every time I see "caucus" all I can think about is "raucous" - which inevitably is more of a synonym than anything else. The events seem like a boisterous and disorderly jumble of voters and people with confetti yelling and accomplishing little other than start off one in a long series of pissing contests.

I say "pissing contests" loosely, because the goal of any REAL pissing contest (as regulated by the Urinary Competition League) is distance or volume or something measurable - whereas these pissing contests feature people lined up on each side, pissing at each other. Clearly it's impossible to determine a winner, other than the Least Covered in Piss award. You can't even evaluate teams, because standing on one side of the line doesn't mean that people on the same side won't be pissing on you all the same. And sorry to all you femenists out there, but pissing contests are traditionally a man's game, seeing as we're better equipped to compete. You're more than welcome to participate, but you can't piss and moan about needing a handicap. Well, you can piss - but as I said, probably not as well as men.

Following on that train of thought, Obama beat out Clinton (the female one) in this Iowa Caucus. With all Democratic precincts reporting, Obama had the support of 38 percent of voters, compared to 30 percent for John Edwards and 29 percent for Hillary Clinton. Bill Richardson came in fourth and has decided to continue onward to New Hampshire (the next pissing contest venue) - while Chris Dodd and Joe Biden have reportedly dropped out of the running.

With 92 percent of Republican precincts reporting, Huckabee, former governor of Arkansas, had the support of 34 percent of voters, compared to 25 percent for Romney. Fred Thompson had 13 percent, McCain had 13 percent and Ron Paul had 10 percent. Huckabee attributes his jump from single-digit numbers a few weeks ago to the rallying of evangelicals and other social conservatives. "We won the silver ... You win the silver in one event. It doesn't mean you're not going to come back and win the gold in the final event, and that we are going to do," Romney said.

The fact that there even ARE caucuses in the first place just illustrates the point that the whole "popular vote" is a myth. While it's totally true that in the final election for president one candidate can have more individual votes than all of the other candidates, I'd hardly call that the "popular vote" and I'd never call it a "majority" - I might admit to calling it the "most votes" or something like that. I mean, if you divide up the voting population, with a whole half-n-half Red and Blue (and whatever Independant would be, lost in the sea of red and blue), you have to recognize that each side doesn't wholeheartedly believe in their candidate. I mean, trusting a politician is definitely the wrong choice of words, but it's that there are primaries and caucuses where chunks of voters are disillusioned. So you'll never have a majority vote.

No matter how much I dislike the process, though, I'm not a nutcase like one of my old high-school friends. I received an E-mail saying that someone had invited me to a group on Facebook. The name of the group is what stopped me mid-thought as my blood started boiling: "Don't Vote in 2008"

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=7815999347

Seriously. I cannot make this idiocy up. Get an eyeful of the group's description!

This group is for anyone thoroughly disenchanted with the electoral college, the US political system and the bullshit that every single presidential candidate spews on a daily basis. For those who don't want more of the same in 2008 and beyond, or for those who don't want a system where a person can win the popular vote and yet still lose the election, don't vote.

Take direct action. Write or e-mail your congresspersons. Start a rally, a protest, or a passive-aggressive Facebook group. Whatever you do, don't buy into the bullshit any more. DON'T VOTE.

My favorite bit of irony is that the people this group is directing its members to contact are congresspersons. You're fighting the machine by TRUSTING the machine?? I really don't know what this group even wants as a result! It apparently wants to change the way that the political machine works, but doesn't want to do that with the logical process of voting for new people in charge who can make the changes or voting for any changes themselves?

I'm totally hoping that none of them come to the shocking revelation that getting people aligned to their cause and NOT voting means that every vote by people NOT aligned to their cause becomes more effective. In fact, I'm totally hoping that my posting this, I can bring some publicity to their little Facebook group and get more idiots to join and not vote and make things easier for the rest of the cogs who are trying to make things happen by actually voting and doing our part in helping to lead the country.

In fact, maybe I should just make my own group, called "Don't Vote in 2008 (if you disagree with my views)" or something like that.

But seriously, you should vote and do your part come Election Day. Unless you disagree with my views.

(Here's where I got the Iowa Caucus numbers)