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Saturday, January 06, 2007

WARNING! POM Juice Contaminated by Terrorists!

Look out! A seemingly-healthy bottle of POM juice may be one of the 487 bottles that were tampered with by animal liberation terrorists. Anonymous communiques being sent to the Animal Liberation Press Office have been coming in ever since the Animal Enterprise Terrorist Act went into effect. The terrorists, upset that they're now labelled as the terrorists that they are, are resorting to TERRORISM in response. While some of the communiques are lesser-degree terrorist acts under the new law, like gluing the locks of fur/leather stores along several blocks in Manhattan, this act might actually KILL you.

They claim that drinking the tampered juice will result in "diarrhea, vomiting and headaches" - symptoms which could be caused by a chemical that could prove fatal, or could themselves be fatal if consumed by a weak-healthed person trying to drink some healthy juice.

So WHY? Why would they be targeting a company like POM Wonderful, manufacturing pomegranate and other healthy juices, with such a horrific act? Well, because POM apparently tests their juices on animals so they can make the claims that they do. PETA and other more-violent animal rights activist groups have been up in arms at the juice company, protesting for them to join the Naked Juice Company which is a collective that doesn't test on animals.

Here's an excerpt their communique:

"in a well coordinated action, 487 bottles of pom wonderful juices were tampered with along the Eastern seaboard in stores like wild oats, d'agostino's and food emporiums. those who drink the contaminated juice won't die like the animals in pom labs, but the diarrhea, vomiting and headaches will hopefully send a strong message that people will no longer allow innocent defenseless animals to be tormented and killed for a health juice and to line the pockets of profiteers who dont have feelings for those weaker than they are....thanks to feinstein and inhoff and the stupid animal enterprise terrorist law that violates the principles that this country is supposed to be founded on, more and more activists like us will choose to retreat into the shadows and fight for the animals underground"

So rather than protest in a legal fashion at the POM Wonderful headquarters or outside stores that sell POM - you know, LEGAL acts of protest that are NOT affected by the Animal Enterprise Terrorist Act - they've decided to not only threaten the business by tampering with bottles of juice already in stores and out of the liable hands of the company itself, but they're threatening the lives and health of anyone who stumbles upon one of the 487 tampered bottles! That's the DEFINITION of terrorism - harming/killing people or threatening to do so in order to coerce your ideas onto people! That's why the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act was created and signed into law in the first place!

It's sheer idiocy that the creation of a sensible and decent law is resulting in the INCREASE of people willing to break it and BRAGGING (though cowardly doing so anonymously) that they've broken it. Only in the illegal immigration battle is there a more-bold defiance of FEDERAL LAW.

Well, animal liberation douchebag terrorists - I sincerely hope that you've had your fun, because you've now broken a federal law and it's in their jurisdiction - so they get to treat you like the other terrorists out there, and we ALL know how unpleasant of an ordeal that can be! I hope that you not only get pinned for the terrorism you caused, but that they add charges of attempted murder because you neglegently could have killed someone with the additives you put into the juice by tampering with the bottles.

I sincerely pray that nobody DOES die from ingesting the tampered juice - and I pray that these terrorists are located and justice is served.

(And as long as idiots want to BREAK new laws, I suggest we make it illegal to give money/shelter to the homeless, illegal to deport illegal immigrants without jurisdiction, and illegal to give me millions of dollars out of thanks for helping to fight animal enterprise terrorism with my posts.)

Maybe then all of those things would actually get done and we could all live happily and I could live wealthily.

(The full communique)

(click here for a larger list of terrorist acts being bragged about, including this one)

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